The Things We Hide
by mochafraptor
Summary: Beast Boy struggles with his inner demons as Raven tries to sort out her feelings. RaexBB [NOT DEAD, OFFICIALLY ON HIATUS PENDING RECONSTRUCTION]
1. Prelude

Something was troubling Beast Boy. You could only tell if you watched him when he was alone. When he thought no one was watching him, he'd get a very serious, almost angry, look of concentration on his face. With other people around, he easily slid back into that care-free happy attitude. But now Raven saw it for what it was. It wasn't obvious, so Raven wouldn't be surprised if the others hadn't noticed. If she was honest, she had only begun to notice recently.

Raven hovered just above her bed in the lotus position, quietly chanting her mantra. She had changed for bed, but couldn't get to sleep. It was concerning that the others didn't see that their friend had been uniquely quiet lately. She wanted to say something, but didn't want cause anything bad to happen. Robin could easily make the conclusion that Beast Boy was in some sort of trouble or something. Ever since "The Beast" appeared, Robin always jumped to the worst conclusion with Beast Boy, especially when he got angry or acted unusual. Even though Beast Boy had not had any incidents since. Robin meant well, but sometimes took his role as leader too far. Also, she didn't want to risk her friendship with Beast Boy.

It was true that Beast Boy often annoyed her to an outstanding degree, but he was also the first to come to her aid or even strike up a conversation. Beast Boy was always trying to involve her with the group while the others seemed to be content leaving her alone. Recently, they were even having more intellectual discussions, surprisingly about comic books and their connections to old folktales and legends. She had come to realize Beast Boy was actually surprisingly intelligent, and very knowledgeable. Mostly she ignored Beast Boy but she wondered how well she'd get along without him to help. Raven sighed and opened her eyes. She really needed something to soothe her mind.

After a minute, she dropped to the floor and walked to her door. She considered grabbing her cloak, looking at herself in the mirror, but she didn't really need it. She wore her sleeping attire which consisted of a dark blue fitted tee, and black boyshorts. She poked her head out into the hall, then, and after seeing the coast was clear, she began tiptoeing her way to the kitchen.

She first had noticed the change in behavior when Beast Boy had missed an extremely obvious opportunity to bother her. Not that she was complaining, but Beast Boy _never_ missed a chance to cause some harmless annoyance. So she noticed, and began noticing more and more. He wouldn't make jokes if no one prompted him, he was quiet when he played games or watched movies, he didn't argue with Cyborg or Raven anymore. He still hung around with the team, would still go out, and when others were paying attention to him, he acted like his normal self. Raven saw though, when he thought no one was watching, he stopped pretending.

As she stepped into the common area she had to shield her eyes from the sun, just cresting the horizon. It was much later than she thought. She'd forgotten how late it'd been when they'd gotten back to the tower. She stayed up all night worrying about Beast Boy. Her face scrunched up at the implications of that. The last thing she needed was someone teasing her over nothing.

 _"It's not strange for me to be concerned."_ She reasoned, " _He's a close friend."_

 _"_ Are you gonna be fighting crime in that?" A voice said from behind her.

Raven whipped around to see Beast Boy, awake and also wearing his pajamas, a pair of loose fitting dark green sweatpants and tank top. She didn't say anything thing, just stared. Beast Boy was smirking, and casually brushed past her.

"It's nice. It's got a 'just got outta bed' feel to it. Very chic." He said, going over to the kitchen area and opening a cabinet.

"Beast Boy." Raven managed to say, "You're up early."

"Stating the obvious? Isn't that another hero's powers?" He replied with a grin, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

"Are you...feeling okay?"

"Yea, why wouldn't I?"

"Well, I just...didn't you see much last night." Raven said.

"Duh, it's called sleeping, Raven." He gave her an odd look, "Do _you_ feel alright?"

Raven blinked at this. Of course she felt fine, nothing had happened to her. Then she registered what he said about her outfit.

"I'm fine," she nearly stuttered, folding her arms across her chest. "Excuse me."

Raven phased through the floor and went to her room. She quickly changed into her cloak and leotard then returned to the kitchen. When she arrived she found the others had already gotten up and were fussing over breakfast.

* * *

Garfield was losing it, and not in the figurative sense either. He was actually losing control, and he wasn't sure exactly how. Everything had been fine, perfect even. He'd actually been doing better in practically every aspect of his life. Fighting crime had never been easier, he was keeping up with his chores, more or less, and Robin had finally stopped treating him like a kid. He was equal with Cyborg in almost all the video games they had, he was even getting along with Raven pretty well, holding civilized conversations and going for walks. It made him very happy. Garfield finished his last set of push-ups and rolled over, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat from his brow. Next was two hundred and fifty situps. Positioning himself on the mat, he took a swig from a nearby water bottle and began. So things were going pretty well for Garfield, and were only looking to improve. That is, until that day, six months ago.

It had been a pretty normal day, the Titans were out doing their thing, fighting crime. These amateur criminals thought they had a pretty good plan to rob a bank, so good in fact they thought they could pull it off in broad daylight. The Titans made short work of them, subduing the would-be masterminds. Garfield was tasked with hunting down the last of the crew, and was closing in on him. He remembered seeing guy in the distance, seeing him duck into an alley, then the next thing he knew, he had the guy by the throat. The feel of the man's pulse in his hand, the tang of fear that permeated the air, the sound of the coward choking out pleas for his life. Garfield remembered the twisted grin on his own face as he contemplated exactly how he would _kill_ this lesser creature.

It scared Garfield, how easily his mind had turned to murder, how casually he decided that this man would die. It wasn't a matter of if, or even when, but a matter of how. The man's life was already over, the rest of his time here was formality. The man, no older than Garfield, was begging, tears and snot running down his face, and all Garfield could feel was the thrill of holding another's life in his hands. His nerves were tingling, he felt electrified, more _alive_ than anytime before in hisentire existence. He was the Alpha and this pathetic worm had gone against him, disrupted the order of things. He had to die.

Raven, of course, was the one to pull him back to reality. She didn't know the sway she held over Garfield, which is why it hurt sometimes being around her. He had always liked her, from the very beginning she bewitched him. What started as a crush quickly turned into something more, and as he grew he began to see exactly how serious it was. The sound of her voice calling his name, her scent on the wind brought it all rushing back. He couldn't kill this guy, he was a hero and heroes don't kill people. Before Raven turned the corner Garfield had the guy facedown on the ground, hands ziptied behind his back.

Six months ago Garfield had lost control, just for a moment he would've killed somebody without a second thought. If even one thing had gone differently he would've been a murderer. The source of this incident was quite obviously the Beast, he didn't doubt that. What was concerning was the suddenness of the incident, there had been no warning. One moment he'd been normal, the next he was squeezing the throat of some punk. There was no fighting it, he didn't even have a moment to consider his next action, it just happened in an instant. The thought was horrifying.

Garfield finished the last set of situps then hopped to his feet, stepping up to a treadmill to begin running. Since that day he had to spend every waking moment fighting his animal instincts. Anything, even the most insignificant moment, could be a trigger that sent him over the edge. He became aware of how much the Beast influenced his mindset and personality. His normally affable demeanor now had an underlying hostility. The smell of meat, especially raw meat, made him drool. Whenever pretty women passed by he had to force himself under control. The worst was when he was with Raven. He had caught himself more than once reaching out to her, and had to dig his nails into his thigh to rein in the impulse. Every day was an uphill battle, one that Garfield feared he was losing.

For a moment he forced the anxiety away, and focused on running. The hum of the treadmill was hypnotizing as he began to pick up speed. Running was one of the more relaxing things Garfield did these days as it allowed him to really let loose. Maybe it was because it appealed to the animal part of him. If he ran at his top speed he could get close to forty miles an hour, which is faster than anybody else could run by a large margin. It might be an unfair advantage he had, since technically he was part cheetah, but that's neither here nor there. Suddenly his headphones were yanked from his head.

"Beast Boy!"

Garfield tripped, then righted himself before slowing down to a halt. He'd been so caught up in his exercise that he didn't even notice Raven approaching. She was right next to him. _I really need to get some sleep, my nerves are shot._

"Jesus! You really need to give a guy some warning before you start shouting in his ear."

Raven rolled her eyes before answering. "I did. You didn't hear me."

"Oh, right…" Garfield laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Well what's up? Did you need something?"

"We're getting pizza tonight. I came to check what you wanted, though I have an idea of what that might be." She said, placing a hand on her hip.

 _Yeah, I'd love a Meat Lover's Special, extra meat._ He thought. Snapping his fingers, he gave her a wide grin and pointed at her with both hands. "Vegetarian!" He exclaimed.

"Of course. I'll tell Cyborg."

Putting his headphones back on, Garfield looked down on his phone to select a new song. He glanced up a minute later, and was surprised to find Raven still there, staring at him. She was making a face like she wanted to say something.

"Was there something else?" He asked, waving his hand from her face.

She started, then shook her head. "No, just thinking something."

"While staring at me? It was either mean, or dirty."

"I was thinking that you smelled." She said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Ouch. Well that's almost both, kind of."

"Right. We're going to put in the order soon, so come upstairs." She sniffed the air pointedly. "After a shower."

With that she turned on her heel and left, leaving Garfield to enjoy her scent. Like lavender and honey, but also a little spicy, it made him want to hold her. Instead he grabbed his towel and buried his face in it. _This is getting out of hand, I was ready to take her right here. I need to think of something, and quick._

* * *

Raven found herself floating in the common room staring at the back of Beast Boy's head as he watched tv. She had been trying all week to talk to him about what she saw, but kept coming up against one fact no one had noticed anything meant that Raven had no way to bring it up. He could just laugh it off. As much as she wanted to confront Beast Boy, she also didn't want to get anyone else involved. It felt like it might be personal business, and he might get upset if it was made public. She didn't want that. She floated gently over the couch and sat next to Beast Boy, folding her legs underneath herself. He smiled at her and winked, then turned back to his show.

"Beast Boy…" Raven began, hesitating, " We're...friends, right?" She kept her focus on the television.

He didn't respond at first, just stared at her as she kept her eyes on the show. Raven grew nervous. What if he didn't think of her as a friend? What if he only thought of her as a teammate or colleague?

"Of course we're friends Raven. After all _we've_ been through, I should hope so." He laughed, turning a suddenly awkward situation on its head, making all the tension in the air melt away.

Raven breathed a little easier. "Good." _How does he do that?_

A few moments passed with nothing but the sounds of the television, then Raven said, "You know you can tell me anything." She looked at him then, and their eyes met as he turned to face her.

"I know."

Raven's breath caught as they held each other's gaze. His eyes were absolutely captivating. The way the light reflected, highlighting the varying shades of green in his irises. She blinked once and quickly turned away, tugging her hood down further. _That was strange_.

The next day, Beast Boy was gone.

* * *

Hello, this is Mocha. For about two years now I've been obsessed with this pairing, and I've been reading this community's stories for about that long as well. I've had the inkling of this story brewing in my mind for a while now, and it's actually been blocking me from writing my other stuff as I'm aiming to be a professional writer. So I decided I might as well get this thing out of my head, and use it to work on my technique. I'll try to update as often as possible, and I think this going to be pretty short, maybe four or five chapters. Like I said, I'm mostly trying to get this out of my head.

Rated T for adult language and suggestive themes, probably.

I feel like it is unnecessary to state that I don't own Teen Titans, because if I did I sure as shit wouldn't be putting this down as fanfiction.


	2. Five years later

CHAPTER ONE: FIVE YEARS LATER

The frosted grass crunched softly underfoot as he lowered into a crouch. His breath formed swirling puffs of crystallized moisture, the only thing that might give away his position. His prey stood some thirty meters away eating grass, completely unaware of the impending danger it faced. Quietly breathing in he drew the arrow back, the slithering, scraping sound of wood on wood barely audible. He exhaled, and released. In the distance the bharal twitched then fell. A dozen or so surrounding animals bolted in the opposite direction.

Garfield slowly stood from his cover, slinging the bow over his shoulder and began walking over to his kill. He had been hunting the herd all day, tracked it from the early morning through the foothills and up the mountain. He had nearly lost it a half-dozen times, and rejoiced when he found it again. He wasn't happy about killing the goat-like creature. Rather, he wasn't okay with the fact that he was actually very happy about killing it. It meant food for the week.

More than that, it satiated the other part of him. The part of him that loved the hunt, and the taste of hot blood and raw flesh. In the years since his departure from the civilized world it had only grown stronger, resisting him in everything. It wanted to hunt, to kill, to find those he hated and rip them apart. It was feral, and angry, and it would consume him. He realized he couldn't hold that part of himself in check. At least not indefinitely. Which was why he was here, alone, far from the world. So he allowed himself to hunt and eat, otherwise he'd lose his mind.

He reached the body of the beautiful animal, now lifeless, and knelt. His arrow had flown true, hitting its torso just behind the front leg, piercing the animal's heart. Garfield hoped it hadn't felt any pain. There wasn't much blood, so it's heart had stopped quickly, if not immediately.

 _My thanks, friend._ he thought, placing a hand upon its head.

 _ **Eat.**_

The word formed itself in Garfield's mind, more of an urge than a thought. He knew its source well by now. The Beast wanted to sink it's teeth into the flesh, it didn't want to bother with skinning, or gutting, or cooking. _Not now._

Garfield refused to behave like an animal. He gripped the arrow and pulled it from the corpse, then began the grim task of preparing the meat for transport. While he could bring the whole thing back to his home, he didn't want the lingering smell of blood to foul the air there. That meant he had to bleed, behead, and gut it here. And he had to do it quickly before any predators found him. He drew a hunter's knife from his belt and set to work.

 _It's always heavier than I expect._ Garfield mused as he navigated the frosty mountain slopes a few hours later. The freshly killed bharal was now beheaded, gutted, and drained of blood. Even without its entrails and horned skull, most of the body was covered in a thick woolen coat, now dyed a rusty color with drying blood, add the flesh and bones of an adult male, and the total weight wasn't something to sneeze at. However, Garfield had grown much and the years of harsh living had carved what little fat he had off, so it wasn't a burden to carry the food. It just wasn't comfortable either.

Garfield contemplated what he did to the head and entrails. After cutting the belly open and hacking the head off Garfield had dug a hole and buried the parts he didn't use as a way of thanking and respecting the animal. While he had killed it he didn't like to think of it as taking away life, but rather as receiving life. He was simply becoming a part of the delicate ecosystem in place here. At least that's what he told himself to feel better. He stopped and adjusted the sling that carried his kill on his back, then looked up to the massive mountain tops in the distance, using his hand as a visor to shield his eyes from the glare of the setting sun. He turned to the right, hopped over a fallen tree, and began down a gravelly slope.

At the bottom, the forest opened up to a small lake that was partially frozen over. On the opposite shore a small wooden house stood surrounded by bushes and slightly obscured in a small grove of trees. It was actually not much more than a shed, just four walls and a thatch roof. Garfield pulled open the rawhide that hung slightly crooked in the makeshift door frame and stepped inside. With just a wooden table, a chair, and a pile of cloths and furs for a mattress on the floor, sparse was barely adequate as a description. If someone had said that Garfield, or rather Beast Boy, would ever live without modern conveniences it would've been taken as a joke, but Garfield had grown up like this. First as a child in Africa, then enslaved by criminals, and imprisoned by his uncle Galtry. Even under the care of the Doom Patrol he hadn't been allowed many luxuries.

He'd only ever known true comfort with the Titans. The years he had spent with them were the most comfortable, and carefree he had ever been. He hadn't wanted to leave them, but all good things must come to an end as they say. When it was time to go he had left without saying a word, mostly because he didn't want to get cold feet at the end, and partially because he didn't want to give anything away. Even then they had chased him, though he knew they would. They got pretty close too, in the beginning. But as he moved further away the easier it was to mislead and deceive them.

He placed the carcass in an old-fashioned icebox and grabbed a candle, lighting it then setting it atop the table. He yawned, stretching his arms and back, then went about cleaning his tools and weapons. If he let his things fall into disrepair then he'd have to replace them, and he didn't exactly make enough money to do that. In fact he really didn't make any money, just enough to buy supplies he couldn't get in the mountains. Selling plants and animal skins could only reel in so much.

Garfield put away his equipment and went to a small pantry to check his supplies. He pushed past various covered pots and jars, noting what needed to be replaced. Several spices and herbs, matches, and rope. The hard life he'd led until he had met the other Titans had trained him such that he could survive almost indefinitely without help. _Still,_ He stood and rubbed the stubble on his jaw, _I won't make life harder by denying myself the easy route. I need to go into town tomorrow._

* * *

Five years. In five years Raven had found only the barest clues as to where Beast Boy could be. Rather, she found where he had been and stayed long enough to leave a lasting impression. The path he'd had taken at first had been easy to track, since he had used conventional means of travel and didn't bother to hide. Raven sneezed in the increasingly colder and colder weather, and looked out the window. Back then the other Titans had been searching as well. Raven thought they had been close to catching him in London, and then they had just missed him in Palermo. They lost track of him and had to return home, pulled by the responsibility they had towards Jump City.

Time passed without the barest sign of Beast Boy until Nightwing finally came upon a story of an elephant saving a child from hyenas in Ethiopia, the elephant being described as green. They moved quickly, but arrived too late to catch Beast Boy, who had once again disappeared. They were, however, able to track his journey backwards through Sudan to Libya, learning that while he never ignored those in need of help, Beast Boy didn't linger in one place for long, and rarely spoke to anyone. The anti-social behavior was so unlike the Beast Boy they knew they almost doubted that they had the right guy. Again they had to abandon the search for Beast Boy, much to Raven's frustration, and tension began to grow in the team.

As the bus she was on trundled along, Raven thought of the deteriorating situation at home. They had started to fight not long after that, and not the friendly fighting they were used to, but real, angry fighting over petty subjects. These stupid, childish problems that meant nothing slowly started pulling them apart. Cyborg started spending more time out with his girlfriend, whose identity was unknown, though Raven had two suspects. Nightwing and Starfire remained together at all times, either in the command center or in one of their rooms. They were so caught up in each other that they barely noticed anything else. With everyone else otherwise occupied Raven became even more reclusive. They spent months like this.

It wasn't until two years later that Raven found a man in Bangalore who claimed to have met, and arranged transportation for a man matching Beast Boy's description, though the man said he only saw Beast Boy briefly. He had arranged for Beast Boy to sail with a shipment of raw materials to somewhere in Indonesia, but could not remember anything else specific. Raven called the other Titans, and they went to Indonesia. From one end to the other they searched the country, barely resting. They stayed for three months, but in all that time they heard nothing. Eventually the other Titans gave up, and Raven, obliged to help her friends and team, returned once again to Jump City.

While for the most part everyone had given up on finding Beast Boy after that, Raven was still searching for clues as to his whereabouts. The lingering feeling of loss was seeping into every aspect of her life. She couldn't eat, sleep, or meditate reliably. Starfire kept asking her if there was something wrong, if there was something that she could do, and Nightwing and Cyborg alternately took turns trying to interrogate or console her. It began to make her anxious and irritable. Raven knew what was wrong, what could be done, and was angry that the others couldn't see it. She found herself in Indonesia again, searching for signs of Beast Boy in earnest.

Months went by and Raven made so little progress she started to lose hope. What if she never found him, what if he was dead? Her mind was plagued by these dire and morbid thoughts. Little tales and legends of a man who embodied the spirits of the wild were the only thing that she had. The stories were vague at best, and rarely told, but Raven followed the few leads, however pitiful they were. She ended up on this rickety bus traveling through Nepal, though she didn't really know where to begin searching. If Beast Boy was even here.

Raven knew by now that Beast Boy would avoid cities, so that left towns and villages. There weren't that many, and she was pretty sure those that had a big population he would be sure to avoid. The bus slowed to a halt just outside the first village on her list. She got up from her seat, grabbing a small bag from the floor at her feet, and walked to the front. It was taking a while, but she was determined to find him. Raven stepped off the bus and turned towards the village, walking briskly. _I will find you. Even if it means I have to scour the globe, I_ will _find you._

* * *

Garfield had decided that, to be safe, he should avoid people in general, and cities specifically. However he was human, and in order to not go insane he realized that he needed to see and be around other people. So, about once a month, he dressed himself so that he could go into town. He wore long pants that tucked into his boots, a dark gray longsleeved shirt under a brown leather jacket, and gloves. He wrapped his head, nose, and mouth in a thick green scarf, smearing a muddy paste around his eyes and bridge of his nose to camouflage his skin. He doubted anybody would recognize him this far from modern society, but one didn't stay hidden by taking things for granted _._

The clothes were relatively new, despite their shabby appearance. Garfield had made most of it from animal hide, or cloth he bought. The few premade clothes he had, he bought before coming here. Most of it was stained and dirty, with patches of cloth sewn here and there as repairs that helped him to blend into his surroundings. It fit together loosely, the materials were rough, nor were the clothes particularly fashionable, but they covered him, and kept him warm, and that's all that mattered. Scratching himself absentmindedly, he stood and walked towards the door _. But damn this stuff is itchy_.

Pausing only to grab a bag filled with items he would sell in town, Garfield started making his way down the mountain. It was a beautiful morning, the sun rising slowly behind him, the air clear and crisp. Snow had fallen during the night, covering the land in a soft white blanket, which he enjoyed disrupting. He amused himself by dragging his feet, or by shaking branches overhead as he walked down the mountain. Garfield loved all nature, from its dense jungles to its vast deserts, but mountains were his favorite. To him they exemplified how powerful and implacable the earth forest sang to him like no other place he'd been, here everything simply made sense. Garfield scooped up a handful snow and put it in his mouth, chewing.

It had been some time since he had arrived here in Nepal. He hadn't been keeping track, but it had been roughly two winters, now going into a third. He wasn't sure what month it was, let alone the day. It was hard to care about stuff like that, this far removed from society it all seemed pointless. A lot of things he cared about before seemed not to matter as much, if at all. _Except for her._

 _ **Which begs the question, why did you leave in such a hurry?**_

Garfield sighed, jumping up onto a boulder and looking down at the village he was headed to. Lately that primal part of himself, the Beast, had been talking. It was concerning in a number of ways, because either the Beast was developing and growing stronger, or Garfield was actually going crazy and was starting to hear voices. Neither situation was especially appealing.

 _Dude. I really don't need your shit right now._

 _ **You desire her as much as I do, we are the same.**_

 _Trust me, you may live in my head, but we are nothing alike._

 _ **We could have made her ours.**_

 _The fact that you think that is hilarious, and only serves to prove my point._ Garfield snorted, sliding down one side of the rock and continuing on his way. _She would've killed me. And thinking that way throws out some really rape-y vibes._

 _ **You did not even try. For all we know, she would have welcomed it.**_

 _Seriously dude, you need to chill out with that. It's gross._ A part of Garfield couldn't shake the nagging feeling that maybe The Beast was right and he hadn't tried, but that wasn't right. _Besides, who's fault do you think it is I couldn't try? With you around I could_ not _trust myself._

 _ **Please. You're a coward, scared of offending your friends and breaking rules. So you ran, rather than be forced out.**_

 _I happen to like my friends, and rules and laws are meant to keep order and decency._

 _ **Doctrine drilled into you by Mento. You think they're dumb.**_

 _I think a lot of things are dumb. I think you're dumb. And I don't think all rules are dumb, just the ones that are stupid._

 _ **In the end, your fear drove you away. You may not want to admit it, but I know you, I**_ **am** _ **you, and you can't hide the truth from me.**_

Garfield frowned at that. It was right, as furious as it may make him, the Beast was a part of him, and Garfield couldn't get rid of it. Not unless he wanted to be lobotomized, which he really didn't. So the next best thing was to learn how to control that part of him. The exact process of taming this wild second personality still evaded him, though not for lack of trying. It wasn't exactly easy trying to control an errant facet of your psyche. He wondered how Raven did it so well. He would've asked her if he wasn't near his breaking point when she was around. Shaking his head morosely, Garfield made his way around to the village entrance.

It was still somewhat early, so he didn't see many people up and about just yet, which suited him just fine. He made his way down the main road, staying to one side and keeping his eyes down. There was a store where he could sell the pelts and furs he collected at the end of the road, and then there was another shop next to it where he could sell various mountain plants. There was also a liquor store that also served as an all-purpose store. It was there where he'd buy the things that he couldn't get or make in the wilderness. The fact that all these stores were so close to each other was extremely convenient, and Garfield was grateful for that since it meant he didn't have to spend too much time here.

Even though Garfield had come to town to be around other people, he didn't like to linger and made a beeline for the stores. He made it about halfway down the road before he noticed it. It was a familiar smell, one that he gotten used to. His eyes widened, and he stood still, searching his surroundings for her. He made a hard left and began walking briskly down a path between two houses. If she was here then Garfield was in trouble. He hopped over a small wooden fence, mindful of the small vegetable garden on the other side. She was close.

He slowed his breathing as he crouched, and focused all of his attention on listening. A minute ticked by, then two, then three and Garfield still waited. After several moments he exhaled, relieved, then stood up and began walking again to the shops. She hadn't found him, which was good, but he still needed to sell his things, as well as pick up his supplies. If he could do that, and make it back up the mountain he'd be safe. He peeked out from between the houses to make sure the coast was clear, then headed across the road to the first shop. He pushed open the door and entered, some wind chimes jingling above his head. He looked down and pawed through his bag, bringing out some pelts.

"Hey, I've got some really nice furs for you this ti-" As he looked up he saw her.

"The thing is, Sikari, even if you hide from me I still know where you're going to go." She said, smiling. She was leaning up against the counter that the owner sat behind, who was calmly leafing through an old book, ignoring them.

"Ah, well…" Garfield said, one hand reaching up the rub the back of his head. "Hello, Kaili." He greeted her in simple Nepalese.

Kaili was a girl of nineteen that Garfield had saved from wolves a few months back. Since then she hadn't failed to find him every time he was in town. Garfield was beginning to regret that day, and he considered himself lucky she hadn't followed him home. Yet.

"I'm beginning to feel a little hurt, you try to lose me every time you're here." She pushed away from the counter and began sashaying towards him.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean…" Garfield placated as he backed away towards the door.

Her olive skin, petite frame, and fine features all lent themselves to make her _very_ pretty, and she knew it. She looked up at him with her large hazel eyes as she drew near. Garfield was glad for the cold weather that forced her to dress warmly. He had no doubts that if the weather were more forgiving her looks would be even more lethal.

"You're not trying to hurt my feelings," she stepped closer, reaching out to play with the fringe of his jacket. "Are you?"

He flicked her hand away, and she grinned. _She really doesn't know how thin the ice she's treading on is._ Garfield steppeddeftly around her, and walked towards the counter. "How much do you think these are worth Nabin?" Addressing the man behind the counter, he pulled out the furs from his bag. The older man leaned forward and inspected them, feeling them between his fingers and eyeing them closely. It was all for show, Garfield knew the furs would not fetch that much, but Nabin like to pretend he knew what he was doing. Normally Garfield would be against selling furs, but with winter upon them he knew they would be needed for clothes, and to furnish some of the poorer homes.

Kaili leaned back against the counter next to him, tilting her head to one side to look at him. Her dark hair flowed down revealing an earring, a small downy feather colored white and brown. She had makeup on, he could see it on her lips, cheeks, and around her eyes. Garfield was flattered that she was trying to look so pretty for him, he knew makeup wasn't easy to come by out here, but he couldn't afford to indulge in that kind of relationship. Plus, he didn't even really like her.

 _ **Well, she may not be our mate, but she'll do nicely in the meantime.**_

 _Hey, how about we play the Quiet Game? You go first._

Garfield bit down hard on his tongue to center himself, and closed his eyes. He did a lot of things to satisfy the Beast. He ate meat, he hunted, and he lived in the wild. Garfield did a lot of things so that he could control himself, but he refused to go that far. He would not involve other people in his problems, and he definitely wouldn't take advantage of women. He inhaled deeply.

"So?" Garfield asked as he leaned a little forward over the counter.

Nabin gave him a critical look before setting down the pelt he was holding. "About eight thousand." He said, crossing his arms over his ample belly.

As he did the calculations Garfield began to frown. Eight thousand Nepali rupees was less than eighty American dollars. He wasn't expecting to make a lot. Anywhere else in the world he could make a substantial amount of money selling furs to the right people, but here they were pretty commonplace. Nabin however, was trying to scam Garfield. He considered trying to haggle for a better deal, but decided against it. He really didn't need that much money, just enough to buy what he needed. Sighing, Garfield stretched out his arm and opened his hand expectantly. Nabin looked surprised for a moment then opened his register, and handed Garfield the money.

As Garfield counted the money out Kaili said, "You're a very strange man Sikari."

"How so?" Garfield asked, stuffing the money into his jacket pocket. He thanked Nabin, and made his way back outside, Kaili trailing behind.

"Because you don't seem to care much about money."

"That's because I don't care."

"See, that's the thing. Out here everybody's trying to make money so they can get away, move to the big city. You don't seem to want to get away."

"You're right, I don't want to get away."

"But why is that?"

Garfield didn't say anything.

Kaili waited for a moment then sighed. "You are not very easy to talk to."

"Thanks. I try."

* * *

The bartender shook his head, and Raven could tell he wasn't lying. She thanked him and walked back outside, her fur-lined cloak doing little to block the bite of the icy wind. This was the third town she'd asked around in, but no one seemed to know anything. She'd asked for Beast Boy by name, by description, and by reputation. She had asked for any new people in town, for anyone that had helped out recently in some way, or anyone odd passing through. Nothing. Raven was frustrated, tired, and at her wits end. Also she was hungry. For someone who seemed to crave attention, Beast Boy was doing an awfully good job of staying out of the spotlight. Just then her communicator beeped, and she took it out. _Oh great, now what?_

"What is it Cyborg?" She asked as his face popped up on the screen.

"Yo Raven, where you at?"

"Out. Do you need something?"

"Just wondering where you are. Haven't seen you in, like, a week."

"That's because I'm out. I asked Nightwing beforehand, he said it was fine."

"I know, I know, I'm just a little worried. No one knows what you're doing when you go out. Or where you go." He said, "Also Starfire keeps trying to make some weird pudding to make you feel better, and it's stinking up the place."

Raven almost smirked at that. "Tell Starfire there's no need for pudding, I feel just fine. Don't ruin the kitchen."

"Too late." He said, grinning. "But seriously, I _am_ worried. Is it something I can help with?"

"Well…" She hesitated. "No, not really. If something comes up I'll call you, but right now I think I'm better off alone."

"Okay. Well don't hesitate to call, and try to get back here soon. Bye!"

"Bye."

Raven sighed, slipping her communicator back into her belt before rummaging around in her bag for her map and a pen. Using a nearby wall to write on she crossed out the name of the town on her map, then folded it carefully and placed it back. The next town on her list was actually a small village at the base of a mountain nearby. Unfortunately she wouldn't reach it until the following day. She considered teleporting back to the Tower to rest and for a fresh change of clothes. Azar knows she needed both. However, the amount of energy needed for the journey would leave her too exhausted for it to be worth the trouble. The local inn would have to suffice for tonight, then after she searched the next town she would go back home. As Cyborg said, it had nearly been a week since she'd been back.

The inn was not a fancy affair by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe Raven was spoiled by modern living, but the room she'd been given wasn't clean. The bed she had was barely humane as the mattress was old and stained, and the bed frame was broken and rusting. The dresser in her room was little more than a pile of splinters held together by duct tape and good feelings, and she wouldn't be surprised to find lice in the carpet. But the worst thing about the room wasn't any of those things, but instead the light. The light fixture above her head was an old lightbulb hanging from a wire that flickered and buzzed as it swung ever so slightly. Raven was seriously considering teleporting.

Massaging her temples to relieve the building pressure in her head, she lifted her legs up off the ground to float in the lotus position. She began chanting her mantra as she let her arms drift down to her knees, slowly letting the tension bleed away. Meditation had always been her salvation in the past, but ever since Beast Boy had left its effectiveness had slowly diminished. While it still helped her maintain control over her powers it wasn't nearly as helpful with emotional or mental strain. Still, anything was better than nothing, and she meditated whenever she had a quiet moment. _If I don't find Beast Boy soon I'm going to have an aneurysm._

That was also something that bothered Raven. Why was she so obsessed with finding Beast Boy? Before they had been friends of course, but she had rarely ever taken him seriously. Sure, they had had a few close moments together, but Beast Boy was a joker, always would be. If she wanted serious advice she'd go to Nightwing, if she wanted some brotherly comfort she'd go to Cyborg, and if she was _really_ desperate for female companionship there was always Starfire. But Beast Boy? The only thing she'd ever found him good for was as a target for her anger, which was usually justified. Every once in a while he'd crack a joke that was genuinely funny, and he'd always be reliable to break the tension, but she never actually went to him for anything.

So why then did it feel like her world fell apart the night he left? She felt so abandoned, so deserted and alone. She also felt furious, at Beast Boy and the other Titans. Had her friendship with him been so shallow that he could cast it aside when it suited him? Hadn't they talked about it that very night? And the others, they had given up so easily. She would like to think that if any of them went missing they would take it as seriously as she was, but she could no longer have that hope. She felt so distant from them now. The fact that they couldn't even guess what she was doing when she went away was infuriating, and also confusing. She felt like this was the one thing that should be on all of their minds. Beast Boy had suddenly disappeared, without any reason or explanation, and no one seemed to care anymore.

Raven slowly realized her hands were balled up in white knuckle fists, her nails digging into her palms, and she was biting her lip. This line of thought was causing her to slip, and she couldn't afford that. When she slipped things tended to blowup, and with how angry and frustrated she was it would be an understatement to say the town was in danger. She released her hands and slowly let out the breath she'd been holding in. This much stress really wasn't healthy for her. She huffed a little to blow her hair out of her face, and sat down on the bed to try and sleep. It creaked loudly underneath her and she swore under her breath. _I'm going to have a few choice words with the innkeeper before I leave tomorrow._ She ignored the covers on the bed and wrapped her cloak around herself. Despite her discomfort she was asleep within minutes.

In the morning, after chewing out the innkeeper, and eating a small breakfast, Raven flew to the next village instead of waiting for the bus. It was a lot colder, but also a lot faster than the bus. Anyway the next village wasn't that far off so she could grit her teeth and bear it, at least for a little while. It started to snow lightly as she took off which only served to worsen her already dark disposition. She arrived some hours later, and landed in the center of town. It was quaint, with only a couple dozen simple houses and stores, and a couple dirt roads. People began to gather after her flashy entrance, and she asked the first person who didn't shy away about Beast Boy. They didn't know anybody by that name. She described him. They'd never even heard of a person being green. She asked if they knew of anybody new or odd in town. One man said he saw someone strange periodically at a store in town. Raven asked which store. The man told her.

* * *

Nabin lived a fairly quiet life in his shop with his family, where the only real concern was who his daughters would marry. His wife, Maiya, sat in the back room managing the logistics of actually running the store, and as far as he could tell was happy doing it. He had tried to help once, but after an hour of her yelling at him she had kicked him out. That was fine by him. He was much better in the front of the store anyway, where all he had to do was sweep every now and then, read his book, and sell or buy something at the best price when a person eventually came in. Today had been a good day, as the Sikari had come in with several animal skins, and he could always be relied upon to sell for the lowest price. He didn't even try to argue with, or seem offended by the price Nabin offered. Yes, today was a good day.

"I need to ask you about a customer of yours."

Nabin looked up from his book, slipping a finger between the pages so as not to lose his place. He was greeted with the sight of a beautiful woman, and several very curious villagers. The villagers he knew, but the woman he didn't, and she was very oddly dressed. She wore a blue fur-lined cloak, a longsleeved blue coat and gloves, and black pants and boots. Even stranger than her attire was the woman herself. She had short indigo hair, light gray skin, a small red chakra stone in the center of her brow, and piercing violet eyes.

"Wha-," Nabin coughed, then cleared his throat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she deadpanned. "I'm told every once in a while a man comes in here. A very odd man. Could you describe him to me?"

"I, I wish I could, but he never reveals his face. He always has it covered up."

"Could you see his eyes? What color were they?"

"Green I think. Yes, definitely green."

She seemed to perk up at this. "Did he ever say, or do anything weird?"

"No, nothing that I can think of…"

She didn't seem to like that.

"He did tell me a joke once. Though it wasn't very funny." He ventured tentatively.

Suddenly the woman had him by his collar, her face inches from his. "Where is he, where does he live?" She asked quietly, her gaze boring into his soul.

"You just missed him, he was here not two hours ago! I think he lives somewhere in the mountains!" Nabin whimpered, quickly telling her all he knew. He'd never been so afraid.

The woman let him go, and twirled around, grabbing something from her hip. "Nightwing, it's Raven. I think I found him. Who? What do you mean who? Beast Boy, of course!"

Nabin watched her as she flew away, yelling into the device in her hand. The villagers hurried out of the shop to follow her as his wife came out of the back.

"What happened? What was that?" She asked him as he pulled himself off the floor.

He stared at her dumbly before answering. "I honestly have no idea."

* * *

"Don't mope Sikari." Kaili told him as they walked back down to the village.

"I'm not moping." Garfield answered.

After finishing his errands in town Garfield had begun his walk back up the mountain, only to be intercepted by Kaili. She'd wanted him to accompany her on a trip to pick some special plants that could be found close to the village. Garfield had refused of course, he didn't need the trouble. Then she threatened to follow him home. So here he was, two hours later, carrying wildflowers down the mountain. _The mountains are dangerous_ , _I was protecting her._

 _ **Just keep telling yourself that. You weren't just blackmailed by a teenage girl, you were 'protecting' her. Chivalry, thy name is Garfield.**_

 _You're just mad because I didn't try to seduce her._

 _ **Even you have to see she's giving you all the signs.**_

 _She doesn't even know me. I honestly have no idea why she keeps pestering me._

 _ **The air of mystery you work so hard to keep probably has nothing to do with it.**_

 _What air of mystery? I'm, like, specifically trying to be rude to her, and she's not taking the hint!_

"Are you listening to me Sikari?" Kaili was standing in front of him, hands on her hips. Garfield hadn't been listening to her, and she looked mildly annoyed. She must've been talking for a while.

"You keep calling me that. What does that word mean?" He asked to change the subject.

"Sikari? I guess in English it would mean 'hunter'." She said as they continued their way into town. She continued talking as Garfield grimaced under his scarf. He didn't want to be known as a hunter. He killed animals sparingly and only for food, not for sport.

 _ **What exactly do you think hunters do?**_

 _Dammit! I don't need your input on every little thing!_

Garfield continued silently arguing with himself the rest of the short distance down the mountain. As they entered the village he noticed the crowd forming in the middle of the road. It wasn't a festival, the timing was off, and Garfield couldn't think of anything else it might be. He decided to ask Kaili.

"What's going on there?" He gestured towards the crowd with the bouquet of wildflowers.

Kaili pursed her lips. "I'm not sure…" She said, clearly interested.

Garfield sensed an opportunity to be rid of her, and he placed the flowers in her hands. "You should go find out. It'd be a shame to miss out on the big event." He said, giving her a gentle push.

"What about you? Aren't you curious?" She asked suspiciously.

"I'm not sure the villagers would take kindly to stranger intruding on what's clearly a town affair. You go, I'll stay right here." He pointed to the ground at his feet.

She hesitated, obviously skeptical, before giving in and running to join the crowd. Garfield waited for a moment, wondering if it would be so bad to actually stay. If it was here, and with her, he could almost imagine it. A normal life, with simple problems. He picked up a single wildflower that had fallen from the ground, little flecks of snow on its aqua colored petals. He saw it all, a little house, a respectable job, a wife and kids. Part of him wanted that, wanted it desperately. But he was an animal, barely caged, and dangerous. Not to mention green. And part of him knew that no matter what, he was a hero at heart. Garfield could never be satisfied with a 'normal' life, when he saw something wrong he needed to act. It was just who he was.

Garfield dropped the wildflower, and began leaving when he heard a disturbingly familiar sound. Like rolling thunder, it started softly and gradually grew to deafening. He looked up to the sky, his eyes widening in panic. This was the sound of a ship's engines, and not just any ship. He watched it as it came down out of the clouds, the sun glinting off it's metallic exterior. The T-Ship. _How did they find me? I was being so careful! Shit! What do I do now?!_ If the team was here, then Raven was here, and if Raven was here then Garfield was in serious trouble. There was no more time to waste thinking. He turned sharply on his heel, and began sprinting up the mountain. He flew along the ground, dropping to all fours as he partially transformed to gain speed. He didn't have much time. If he could make it back to his house he could grab all the supplies he could carry and make it through the mountains to Tibet. He could do it, he just had to hurry. He still had time.

Garfield ripped the scarf from his head and let it fly as he swung from a branch to a cliff and pulled himself up. He needed at least a week's worth of food if he was to survive. There was more than enough stored, the problem was how to carry it. He could try and fashion a large bag out of some of things he had lying around, but that would take too long. _Think Garfield, think!_ He burst out into the small clearing that surrounded his small lake, and paused to catch his breath. He would probably have to leave a lot behind, but luckily there weren't many items of value that he still carried. He sprinted the few steps to the edge of the lake, and leapt across, just clearing ten meters of open water to the other shore. Landing heavily on his hands and toes he dove into a roll, and popped up into a jog. Garfield stepped quickly up to his house, and flung open the animal hide hanging in the doorway.

She stood in the center of the room holding a few tattered pictures, facing the doorway. Their eyes locked on one another instantly, and all was still. She was gorgeous. Her short hair was now longer in the front than it was in back, her bangs pulled to one side to slightly hide her face. The hair on the other side was lightly braided, and tucked behind her ear. She was tall now, still taller than him he noted with some annoyance, but not by much, and she had the womanly curves to go with it. Garfield was defenseless, it simply wasn't fair how she could look so lovely. The pictures fell from her hand to the floor, breaking the frozen moment.

"Raven." Was all he could say, he was dumbstruck. How could she be so beautiful, even with that expression? That extremely _livid_ expression. The hairs on the back of Garfield's neck began to rise, he could sense what was coming. _Uh_ _oh_.

* * *

It hadn't been that hard to find the small shack from the sky. After Raven shot away from the shop she had flown into the air to scan the mountainside from above. It was a matter of minutes before she spotted the lake, and instinctively knew that if she was going to find anything relating to Beast Boy, she would have to start there. She hadn't been expecting to find his house though, that was lucky. And it was his house, Raven knew that for certain. Even though there was little to be found in this single room shack, it was still messy. Tools and knives lay strewn about on the table, furs and pelts were thrown haphazardly across the floor, and ash from a small campfire in one corner had been kicked around. But what confirmed that beyond a doubt it was Beast Boy who lived here was the pictures. On one end of the table they lay arranged, pictures of him and the other Titans. Raven picked them up gingerly. He had one group photo, and a few more of him and at least one of the others. In the center lay a photo of him and Raven, one of their closer moments.

Raven heard footsteps approaching, and looked up in time to see Beast Boy enter. He wore thick stubble that covered his jaw and cheeks, and his chin length shaggy hair looked like it had been cut erratically by hand. More than likely with one of the knives on the table. The messy clothes he wore were tattered, and barely serviceable. They looked like they'd been made by hand, and not skillfully. He looked wild, untamed, but most of all, he looked dirty. Despite this, Raven felt happy. She finally found him, it had all been worth it. Everyone else had given up, but not her and now she was relieved to find it hadn't been for nothing. A feeling of absolute serenity washed over her, a deep calmness that she hadn't felt in the last five years. She felt the pictures slipped from her fingers. Then she remembered all that she had been through, all the trouble that his disappearance had caused. She could feel the Rage boiling up from below.

"Raven." He said, breathless. She began walking towards him, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. Beast Boy began retreating to the outside.

"Wait, I ca-"

"No." She interrupted.

"But I have a really good re-"

"Shut up."

"Will you just let me-"

She slapped him then. She didn't slap him that hard, but he fell to the ground anyway, wearing a shocked expression.

"Beast Boy, I don't care. Whatever story you were about to make up, whatever lie you were going to tell, it doesn't matter." Raven kept her voice low and even as she spoke. She wanted him to know how deadly serious she was. "Two things are going to happen now. One, you're going to stay quiet and not make any trouble, and two, you getting on the T-Ship and you're coming home with us. Understand?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

He nodded dumbly, rubbing his cheek.

"Good."

* * *

Hey there, it's Mocha again. I'll try and keep the updates as frequent as this, but no promises. If it seems a little rushed at the end, that's because I was kind of losing my patience and wanted to get this out as fast as possible. Also if the Raven sections seem a little one-dimensional don't worry, I plan to explore character a little bit more in coming chapters. Thanks for any comments or reviews, I really appreciate those. Someone said last time that my use of punctuation was odd, so if you come across something that bothers you I apologize. It's a habit of mine to use punctuation to mimic the voice in my head. Alas, it is a poor substitute for the cadence, tone, and inflection that I wish to convey. Stay tuned for more chapters, the more you read the more it inspires me to write!


	3. Homecoming aka Animal

Chapter 2: Homecoming

He was staring at her. Raven quietly sighed in her seat on the T-Ship, satisfied with herself. It was done, the search was over. No more late nights sifting through the Internet, no more traveling to obscure foreign villages, and definitely no more talking to other people. If there was one thing that made Raven feel on edge, it was talking to people. She wasn't good at it, and she could tell that she made them uncomfortable. That made _her_ uncomfortable, which made the conversations awkward. And she also just didn't trust people easily. Anyway, that was all over with because she found him.

Settling down into her seat for the ride, she couldn't help but admire the view from her window. The snowy Himalayan Mountains passed by and slowly shrank as they flew further and further into the sky. During his impromptu hiatus, Beast Boy seemed to have a knack for visiting some of the most breathtakingly scenic locations, even if they were out of the way. Raven was actually shocked by how fast the other Titans had reached the village she had called them from, though she was grateful for their promptness. If they had taken longer than a couple hours she wasn't sure how she would've held Beast Boy. Everything had worked out rather well for her in the end, all things considered. Now he sat across from her in the ship, sitting in his rags, and Raven couldn't feel happier. Well, she could, if he would just stop staring at her.

"What?" She said, glaring at him.

He was quiet for a moment. "I'm just curious. I mean, I thought I was doing a really good job hiding. How did you guys find me?" He was addressing the rest of the Titans as well.

Cyborg laughed from the pilot seat. "I think all credit has to go to Raven on this one. We searched in the beginning, but stopped after we never got results. She didn't, and it paid off."

"Yeah I have to admit, I'm surprised at how well you avoided detection Beast Boy." Nightwing turned in his seat to face him. "I'm going to have to pick your mind about how you evaded us."

"And I cannot wait to tell you all that has happened in your absence Friend Beast Boy!" Starfire was exuberant, she couldn't stop bouncing up and down in her seat.

Beast Boy didn't seem too thrilled. "Yippee."

"Aww, don't be mad green bean!" Cyborg exclaimed. "You're back with family! No matter what problems you have we'll face'em together!"

Beast Boy didn't answer, and instead rested his forehead against his window and stared out. Raven kept her eyes on him, searching with her empathic abilities. He was upset, and a little resentful, which Raven expected. What surprised her was the overwhelming feeling of anxiety and dread that washed over her as she searched with her empathic abilities. What could he fear from the Titans, who were all but family? Cyborg was right, whatever it was they could handle as a team. She decided she would ask him in private once they got home.

"So, what exactly did you do while you were gone? I mean personally, I couldn't go from hero work to absolutely nothing overnight." Nightwing's curiosity was getting the better of him, though Raven couldn't blame him. Everyone else was just as interested.

"I don't know, I just… lived." Beast Boy replied.

"That can't be all. People were talking about you like some kind of legend." Raven interjected.

"Well I mean, I wouldn't turn a blind eye to crime or people in need, but I wasn't trying to seek it out either. Mostly I was thinking about how I would eat that day, or where I would spend the night."

"That must've been hard, considering your poor choice in diet." Cyborg chuckled.

"Oh, I had to give that up pretty quickly."

Everyone went silent.

"Wait, you're telling me you're not a vegetarian anymore?" Cyborg asked.

Beast Boy nodded.

Starfire raised her hand. "Please, I do not understand. I thought the eating of only vegetables and the tofu was a principal that you held dear." She said.

"It was. But you can't survive on roots and berries when you live in the wild. I had to take up hunting out of necessity."

"But couldn't you just buy food? You have more than enough money for that." Nightwing asked.

"I didn't want you guys tracking me down if I used my accounts. Not that it helped." Beast Boy laughed bitterly.

Raven felt uncomfortable. There was something offputting and depressing about seeing Beast Boy so serious. It was so out of character from what she remembered of him. She realized he must have changed a lot during their time apart, and he might be completely different now. Hopefully, this person they were bringing home was similar enough to their old friend that there wouldn't be any problems.

"So, friend. Will you be returning to work with us? I would be most pleased if you did." Starfire could barely contain herself.

Beast Boy glanced at Raven before he answered. "I don't think I really have much of a choice."

Raven smirked inwardly. _Smart boy._

Starfire looked confused. "Why would you not have a choice?"

"Well I don't think they have many jobs for green shape-shifting comedians other than in the circus, and even I have my dignity. Besides, after all this I couldn't really abandon you guys a _second_ time."

Nightwing smiled. "Well I'm glad to hear that Beast Boy. The team hasn't been the same without you."

"Obviously. I was the funny one. But seriously, can you stop calling me Beast Boy? I have a beard for chrissake." He said, turning to them and pointing to his face.

"What are we supposed to call you then? Beast Man?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shook his head, smiling ruefully. "Not that. I'll think of something, but for now just call me by my name."

"Okay… Garfield. If that's what you want." Nightwing said.

"It is." He was silent for a moment. "Sorry, is it alright if I don't talk anymore?" Garfield _s_ uddenly asked. "I'm a little tired."

Nightwing raised his eyebrows. "Uh, yeah. Sure." He replied.

"Yes, please rest dear friend. We will wake you once we arrive at home." Starfire added.

Leaning back in his seat, Beast Boy- _Garfield! This is going to take some getting used to.-_ pulled his hood up to cover his face in shadow. It wasn't long before he was asleep. Raven decided to follow suit, and reclined her chair. The man she found was not the one that she'd lost five years ago, and she was beginning to think that she'd never get him back. That made her worried, and sad. But there was nothing to do about it now, she should just rest. Or at least try to.

* * *

"Garfield."

Garfield woke with a start. Immediately, he knew that he had been dreaming, but what about he couldn't tell. He'd forgotten the instant he'd opened his eyes. That was unusual, because he normally slept like the dead, and dreams were exceedingly rare. Yawning a little, he stood stretching his arms out and cracked his back before turning to Raven. Everyone else was getting out of the ship.

"Are we there?" He asked sleepily.

"No, we stopped for gas." She replied dryly.

It took Garfield in his half awake state a moment to realize she was being sarcastic. "Ah, there's that classic Raven wit. Would it kill you to actually, you know, be nice?"

"Would it kill you to not ask stupid questions?"

"It might. I've never tried."

This felt good, talking with Raven, and the others. It was like a familiar pair of shoes, comfortable. It had been a long time, but Garfield remembered this bittersweet feeling. Being close, but not close enough.

 _ **So we can look but not touch? Is that it?**_

 _Actually, looking is probably not a good idea either._

"You need to clean yourself up." In a surprisingly tender gesture, she reached forward to pluck a twig from his matted locks. "You've got sticks in your hair."

Before either of them could react, Garfield's hand snapped up and grabbed hers. They both froze, and looked at where they touched. His rough hand holding her soft one.

 _ **Mmmh, warm.**_

 _Shit, you gotta think of something! Like, now!_

He took the twig from her hand. "It's called camouflage, Rae." He stuck it pointedly behind his ear. "It's necessary when living in the wilderness."

"Right. You're not living among animals anymore Garfield, so go take a shower before you touch anything." She said, pulling her hood up.

"Eh, that's probably for the best. It's been, like, a month." He left Raven making gagging noises in the T-Ship, grinning to himself. Of course, he'd washed himself more often than that, but he couldn't pass up golden opportunities like that. _Priceless._

The door to his room opened with the same code, and he still had the same furniture for the most part, but that was all that had stayed the same. Gone were the piles of unwashed clothes, the old food, and dirty plates. His bunkbeds had been replaced with an uninspired queen sized bed, and all the posters he'd set up were nowhere to be seen. Even the carpeting had been replaced. _Is nothing sacred?_ Garfield sighed, and threw his bag on the bed. This was to be expected, after all he _had_ been gone for five years. Still, he couldn't help but wonder what happened to his all stuff. He took a look inside the dresser and sighed again. Empty. Not that he thought his old clothes would fit him. He called Cyborg on the visual intercom, and after a few seconds his face popped up on the screen.

"Yo! What's up man?" He asked.

"Dude, I don't have any clothes here, and I didn't exactly bring extra." Garfield jerked his thumb towards the dresser.

Cyborg nodded. "Two steps ahead of you. Nightwing and Starfire went out to buy you some civvies just now. They'll be back soon. In the meantime, why don't you use the shower. There should be soap and shampoo already in there, as well as towels."

"First Raven, now you. Do I really smell that bad?" Asked Garfield, giving himself a tentative sniff.

"Raven said something? I was just going to burn the stuff you brought." Cyborg replied with a grin.

"All right, I get it. Garfield out." He pushed a button and the screen went dead.

Garfield walked over to his desk, and brought up his room stereo system. At least they hadn't cleared his music library. That had taken forever to tune just to his liking, and he really wanted to listen to some good music. If there's one thing that he didn't like about nature, it was the lack of music. He quickly queued up his favorite playlist, and walked into his personal bathroom. As Cyborg had said, everything he needed was in there. Garfield quickly began stripping after starting the water.

The water was immediately hot, and he reveled in it. This was something else that nature lacked, hot water. He let it run over him, and soak into his hair. Garfield hadn't used soap yet, but he could already see dirt running from his body to the drain in black streams. Even he had to admit, this was pretty gross. He uncapped the bottle of shampoo and applied it liberally, using his hands to work it down to the scalp. His hair had become so tangled and knotted it was like trying to put his fingers through cloth. After rinsing, then reapplying shampoo several more times, the bottle was empty, but his hair was clean. Raven was right, there had been sticks in his hair. And leaves. Garfield then turned, and grabbed the bottle of body wash and a stiff bristled brush.

Sometime after he entered the shower, Garfield heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" He called from the floor of the tub. He was diligently scrubbing his feet.

"It's Nightwing. Starfire and I just got back with your clothes. I hope they fit. As for your uniform, we have to get your measurements, then you have to decide on a design. Once that's done they'll be made and delivered within a week. We can do that once you get out."

"Okay, sounds good. I might be a little longer though, I plan on cutting my hair."

"That's cool. Cyborg is making dinner now, so try not to take too long."

"Gotcha."

As Nightwing's footsteps faded, Garfield got up and rinsed himself off. He grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower, wrapping it around his waist. He used a another towel to thoroughly dry his hair and face and stepped up to his sink. Inside a drawer underneath were a shaving kit and an electric hair trimmer. The shaving kit was new, but the trimmer he knew how to use, since before he had primarily cut his own hair. However he knew he wasn't going to go back to his old hair style. He wasn't a kid anymore, and he wasn't that person anymore. He thought for a moment about visiting a professional hairstylist, but quickly dismissed the idea. Picking up the trimmer, he turned it on and held it up to inspect. Garfield really had no idea what he wanted to do, because he honestly didn't have any fashion sense. In the end, he decided to do just what felt natural. His instincts had served him well in the wild, why should it be any different here?

* * *

Raven stood before the door, the words Beast Boy inscribed upon its exterior. _We'll have to change that_. She didn't know what she was doing here, she didn't have any purpose to be. An anxious feeling rose up after she hadn't seen him for a while, and she found herself in front of his room. She supposed she was suspicious that he would run again, even though he said he wouldn't. Pausing for a moment to think of a reason, she knocked. There was no answer. Instantly worried, Raven entered the door code and stepped inside.

The room was as she left it, tidy and clean. After Garfield left, Raven had taken to cleaning and organizing his room. She wanted to see if she could find any clues as to his whereabouts, and no one else wanted to go near his room while it was such a mess, so the task had fallen to her. Strangely enough, she found it comforting to be in his room, and found herself there often. It was now nearly as familiar as her own quarters. She would have to spend her idle time elsewhere, now that Garfield was back. _Where is he anyway?_ The room was empty, though music was playing. The door to the bathroom was still closed, though the light was on. Raven realized that he must still be in there, but before she could leave the bathroom door opened and he stepped out as a new song started.

 _There was a time when my world was filled with darkness,_

 _darkness darkness,_

 _and I stopped dreaming now I'm supposed to fill it up with something_

 _something something,_

Garfield exited, one towel wrapped around his waist, another draped over his head as he rubbed his hair dry. He was quietly singing along with the song, and didn't notice her as he walked across the room to the bags of clothes on his bed. Raven stood rigidly in one spot, staring at his bare torso. The lines and planes of his well-toned muscles drew her eye, and she couldn't help but admire his physique. His shoulders and chest had grown wider, though not as wide as Nightwing or Cyborg. His arms and legs were no longer scrawny, they were now thick with hard muscle. The heat rose in Raven's cheeks, and she knew she must be blushing profusely. She quickly tugged her hood up, and coughed loudly.

 _In your eyes I see the eyes of somebody I knew before,_

 _long long long ago,_

 _but I'm still trying to make my mind up,_

 _am I free or am I tied up_

"Hmmm? Oh, hey Raven." Garfield said as he pulled the towel off his head.

"I just, uh," Raven began, but stopped when she noticed his hair. Nightwing had said he'd be cutting his hair and she had expected him to cut it short, like in the old days. Instead, while it no longer reached past his chin it was still long. The sides and back had been sheared to the scalp, leaving short fuzzy hair. Even though a lot of it was gone, with strands of hair falling over his face he still looked… wild.

"It's the hair, right? Does it look all right? I kinda just did whatever." Garfield laughed, a little embarrassed.

Raven stumbled over her words. "No, it looks fine. It looks… Good."

"Thanks."

 _I change shapes just to hide in this place,_

 _but I'm still, I'm still an animal,_

 _nobody knows it but me when I slip,_

 _yeah I slip, I'm still an animal,_

They stood for a silent moment, Raven staring at him, and Garfield awkwardly shifting from one foot to another. She noticed that he was covered in scars of all shapes and sizes. Some no doubt gained from his service as a Titan, but others were definitely from his time in the wilderness. Claw and bite marks were scattered over his limbs, and there was one giant scar that swooped from his right shoulder to his left hip. Raven could only assume that Garfield had fought a large predator.

 _There is a hole and I tried to fill it up with money,_

 _money money,_

 _but it gets bigger to your hopes is always running,_

 _running running,_

"Was there something you needed, or did you just come to watch?" Garfield teased, breaking Raven's chain thought.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Spare me. Cyborg is almost finished cooking dinner, so hurry up so we can eat." She replied, turning and opening the door to leave. She stopped in the doorway. "I'm glad you're back home now Garfield." She said without turning.

"Me too." He answered as he began looking through the new clothes. "I'm a little ticked off that you found me, but I think maybe that's for the best. I wasn't making any progress there anyway."

 _Progress?_

Raven turned around at that. "Progress with what?"

Garfield looked up, surprised. "Oh! Um, hmm. It's nothing, just talking to myself. You weren't supposed to hear." He said, clearly flustered.

"Beast Boy, progress with what?" She reverted back to his old hero name, becoming frustrated with him. The door closed behind her as she walked towards him.

"It's nothing, really! Pretend I never said anything."

 _In your eyes I see the eyes of somebody who could be strong,_

 _tell me if I'm wrong,_

 _but now you're pulling your disguise up,_

 _are you free or are you tied up,_

"Beast Boy." Raven narrowed her eyes as she came to stand in front of him, one hand on her hip. She noticed that he was still shorter than her, just by two inches or so. _Strange, he doesn't feel shorter than me._ Suddenly Garfield grabbed her by the shoulders. She gazed at him in shock, his face inscrutable. Then he roughly turned her around, and was pushing her towards the hall.

"You need to leave. Now." He said, his tone suddenly just as serious as hers.

"Not until y-"

"Raven!" He cut her off, stopping to open the door. He paused, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply. "It's personal. It's my problem to handle, nobody else's."

"Whatever it is, we can hel-"

"No. Look, maybe I'll ask for your help later. Maybe. But right now I'm practically naked, not to mention hungry, and tired. So I'd appreciate it if you gave me a little privacy." He said, gesturing to the hallway.

 _I change shapes just to hide in this place,_

 _but I'm still, I'm still an animal,_

 _nobody knows it but me when I slip,_

 _yeah I slip, I'm still an animal_

Raven glared at him, but was met with eyes equally intense. Finally she relented, letting out a sigh of exasperation.

"Fine. But you _will_ tell me what is wrong, and why you left." She said as she stepped out into the hall.

"No promises. See you at dinner."

Then he shut the door, and Raven was left out in the hall. Five years later and this green idiot could still frustrate and annoy her like nobody else. _Why is he being so difficult? I just want to help._ Aside from anger and frustration, she also felt a deep sadness. Raven had thought that the two of them had become closer before he left, and was hurt that he wouldn't share whatever was troubling him with her. The relief she felt from finding and bringing him back was completely gone. In the short time Garfield had returned Raven had felt relief, anxiety, confusion, anger, frustration, sadness, and a slew of other emotions she couldn't name. All within a few hours. She decided that she would have to meditate before dinner if it was to go well. She would probably have to meditate a lot more if this was an indicator of how things would be now. Sighing again, Raven turned from his door and headed for her room.

* * *

Hey. So now the big update, but I'm noticing that my other story is garnering a lot more attention, which is weird because I started that as an afterthought. So what's up? Is it the shorter length or does the concept of the story just seem more enticing? Let me know in the comments. I'll probably start doing shorter updates for this story anyway, because that might help with the frequency of updates.

-Mocha


	4. Hello Jump City!

A week passed and Garfield slowly got back into the swing of things. While many things had changed in their routine, the Titans were still the Titans, and Garfield found his place quickly enough. Nightwing had at first drilled him relentlessly, but it was evident that Garfield hadn't stopped training himself and was in prime condition. All that was left was learning the new battle tactics that the team employed in the field, and adjusting them to include Garfield. Everyone else had gone to the training field, but Garfield had one thing to take care of before he went down.

His new uniforms had come in today, and Garfield sat in his room with a box of them. Morphing one of his fingers to have a claw, he cut open the box and pulled one of them out. He immediately remembered why he didn't bring any of his uniforms with him. The spandex-like material was specially engineered to accommodate his shifting forms, like some sort of magic. But, Garfield hated it because it felt so unnatural on his skin. He preferred wool, or cotton. Materials like polyester, or neoprene, or whatever the hell _this_ stuff was gave him the willies. With a grimace, he slipped on the new uniform.

Garfield looked at himself in the mirror and was glad to see that he didn't look like an idiot. The suit came in two main pieces, the shirt and the pants. There were of course a belt and a pair of boots that came along with it, but those were more like accessories. The shirt was a tightfitting hooded T-shirt that had a two-tone color scheme, while the pants also had a similar design. He had decided on black and red for his colors since no one else was wearing red anymore. His suit wasn't very high-tech but it did have one feature, by pressing a button on the belt the colors would shift to gray and black, essentially turning it into "stealth mode". Garfield looked himself over, turning to get different angles, and grinned. _I've still got it._ Pleased with his new look, he tied his hair back into a short spiky tail, and made his way to the training field to meet with the others.

Today they'd be doing individual obstacle course runs, and Garfield was excited to let loose with the full extent of his powers. After the first year, he hadn't really transformed during his time away, and he missed the experience. It was something so completely liberating it was nearly addicting, but he had to stop in order to hide completely. Now that he was back, he was free to indulge in his power, and he had spent his time doing just that.

When he got there he saw everyone gathered together, talking in a group, but as he approached they saw him and broke apart. Garfield expected this, but it still hurt on some level. It was subtle, but they weren't used to him being back and it showed in how some conversations he just wasn't allowed to be a part of. He'd just have to suck it up, and earn back their trust.

"Hey guys, what's happening?" He asked in a jovial tone.

"Hey B! Nice suit, man!" Cyborg greeted.

"Right? Pretty spiffy, if I do say so myself." Garfield struck a pose.

Starfire flew over and landed next to him. "Yes, you cut a most impressive form!"

Her outfit had changed from the simple top and skirt to a complicated array of straps and lengths of cloth that exposed more skin then they covered. Not much was left to the imagination, and Garfield was surprised that Nightwing had let that happen.

 _ **Maybe he likes showing off his mate? She's certainly a prize worth coveting.**_

 _I doubt it. Nightwing doesn't really think like that. Also, stop objectifying women._

"Thanks Star." He turned to Nightwing and clapped his hands together. "So! Let's get started. Who's going first?"

The outfit that Nightwing had on was completely black from head to toe, with a blue pictographic bird on his chest with wings spread from shoulder to shoulder. It was much better than his old uniform, with its bright colors and flashy cape. Hardly appropriate for a supposed master of stealth. He had grown out his hair, which was combed back and flowed down to his shoulders, and of course wore a mask that covered his eyes.

"Why don't you go first if you're so eager?" A dark figure asked from his left.

Garfield turned to face the sorceress it came from with a witty retort in mind, but it died on his tongue. Raven's uniform had changed the most radically, at least in his eyes. The cloak and leotard had been replaced by a hooded longsleeve shirt that was a deep indigo . It hugged her ample chest, and cut off to show a generous amount of her supple stomach. Her pants were tightfitting black spandex. The pant legs had slits up the sides about an inch wide that exposed her pale skin to just below her hips that laced up with dark purple silk, and fit nicely into her stylish calf length boots. He'd already been here a week, but Garfield didn't think he'd ever get used to seeing Raven like this. She didn't have as much skin exposed as Starfire, but for some reason he just couldn't handle it.

 _Goddamnit. God. Dammit. This is goddamn torture._

 _ **But you only inflict it on yourself. I'll say it again, she we could have her.**_

 _See, you say that, but you actually have no idea._

 _ **It wouldn't hurt to try.**_

 _It would hurt. A lot. Like, an unimaginable amount. Pain so excruciating that I could go on for another two days, and fail to scratch the surface._

"Got to admit, you set yourself up for that, Green." Cyborg came up and slapped him on the back. "I'll start it up for you."

Cyborg had change the least out of all of them. Same face, same color scheme. He had switched out some parts, making them sleeker, more modern looking. But all in all, same tin man.

"Fine. I'll go." Garfield said petulantly. It actually didn't matter, Garfield wanted to go first anyway. He walked over to the starting point where he began stretching his arms and legs.

The course in front of him started opening up and changing. Out of the ground rose turrets, laser grids, razor wire, electrical fences, and a horde of robots of varying sizes and functions, as well as a few things that Garfield couldn't figure out at first glance. Walls, columns, and moving platforms were raised, trenches and pits with ropes to swing across formed. There was even a giant robotic monster. Garfield turned to Cyborg and raised an eyebrow.

Cyborg was leaning on the control console, grinning. "I upgraded and added a few things last night."

"All this for me? Cyborg, I'm touched. You shouldn't have." Garfield said with a grin as he lowered into a ready stance.

"Let's see what you got kid!" Cyborg yelled. He raised a hand, and slammed it down on a button.

All at once the obstacle course came alive. Electrified cords attached to pedestals began to whip around at blinding speeds, nozzles spewed forth liquid fire, the turrets targeted Garfield and began unloading their ammunition. Garfield had started sprinting before Cyborg had finished speaking, dropping to all fours and shifting into a cheetah. He approached the first obstacle, a fifty foot concrete wall with barbed wire at the top. Without slowing down he reached the wall and began running up, shifting smoothly into a falcon when he reached halfway up. At the top he weaved through the barbed wire and divebombed to the other side. Once at the bottom he shifted into a wolf, and started jumping from platform to platform across electrified water to save a mannequin in the center, dodging automatic fire and swinging pendulums along the way.

Garfield turned back into human form and tackled the mannequin to the ground as a roaring inferno passed overhead, rolling back to his feet and running with it draped over his shoulders in one smooth motion. As he cleared the last few platforms and reach the end he was confronted by three robots, each holding a different weapon. Without missing a beat he stepped in to the left to put one of the robots in the way of its compatriots. He slammed one booted foot into its knee, crushing it, and used his one free arm to redirect the sword in its hands back towards itself, impaling it. Using the now neutralized robot as a shield, he ran towards the safe zone and deposited the mannequin from his shoulders before turning and facing the other two. He ripped the sword from the chest of his shield and threw it towards the robot with the gun, dropping the scrap metal in his hands and rushing the other one. This one swung at his legs with a bat, which he leapt over and planted both feet on its chest, knocking it over. He moved immediately to the other one, morphing his arm into that of a gorilla, and proceeding to pummel it to the ground before grabbing the gun from its hand and unloading the clip into its chest, at the same time crushing the head of the previous one underfoot.

Several more minutes passed like this as Garfield went from one challenge to the next. He blended hand to hand combat with his animal forms almost flawlessly, coming out of every confrontation with barely a scratch. Each problem that presented itself he solved with unique and unexpected solutions. Finally he reached the end of the course, and hit the button to turn everything off, falling on his back and raising one fist to the air. Garfield lay there panting, and staring up at the sky. He hadn't realize how much he missed this, how incredibly _good_ it had made him feel. How it felt like he belonged, like his powers were something to be used, not hidden. The others approached and he propped himself up on his elbows, grinning.

"So? How'd I do?" He asked cheekily.

"Pretty good. Overall you did pretty well." Nightwing said without much enthusiasm.

Cyborg stepped up from behind and gave him a hearty shove. "Pretty good? BB nearly aced this course on the first try! I'd say he did better than pretty good!"

StarFire was the next to speak up. "Yes, I thought friend Garfield's performance was exemplary!"

Nightwing crossed his arms. "I will admit you were very impressive, but I'm not thrilled about how ruthless you were dealing with your opponents. It was pretty brutal."

"Well yeah, these were robots. Of course, in a real fight against actual people I'd hold back, at least a little." Garfield held up his index finger and thumb to indicate how much.

"Still…" Nightwing wasn't convinced.

"Dude, chill out. You worry too much, Nighty Whitey."

"Nighty… what?" Nightwing asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

"Nighty Whitey? Cause you're so uptight?" Garfield looked at Cyborg for understanding, but received a similar look of confusion. "Cause it rhymes with tighty whitey, like the underwear."

Nothing.

"Forget it. It's obviously too smart for you if I have to explain it. Raven gets it."

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring me down to your level." She deadpanned.

Looking at her from this angle he could see her face for the first time that day, and it was breathtaking. It wasn't any different from yesterday, and she hadn't done anything special. Raven wasn't one to spend a lot of time applying makeup or doing her hair like Starfire, but damn if she didn't knock him off his feet every time he saw her. He grinned, and stuck his tongue out at her. _If only…_

Garfield popped up from the ground, and dusted himself off. "So who's next?"

* * *

Raven sat at one end of the couch in the common room, calmly paging through a book and contemplating her predicament with Garfield. It felt like it was five years ago, Raven not knowing how to address her concerns with Garfield, and not wanting to involve the others out of respect for his privacy. Back to square one. Well, that wasn't quite true. At least this time around she'd worked up the courage to talk to Garfield directly, and he had more or less said that he would be willing to talk to her about it. Maybe.

Now she just had to come up with a way to force the issue. Which wasn't easy, mainly because the last thing that she usually wanted to do was muck about with other people's personal problems. But this was a special case. Raven closed the book in her hands and placed one corner against her pursed lips, thinking. The few times that she and Garfield had confided in each other like that, it had been because the problem had already developed into something serious, and she didn't want to wait for that to happen with this. Maybe she could just level with him, and that would be enough. Though somehow, that didn't seem likely.

"Raven, can you do something for me?" Nightwing's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

She put down her book and stood. "Sure. What do you need?"

"I need you to distract Garfield while we set up for the party."

"What? Why me, why not Cyborg?" Raven asked, flustered.

Nightwing raised two fingers, and began ticking them off as he listed his reasons. "Because, one, Cyborg needs to coordinate everything for the party, and two, you spend the most time with Garfield, so it won't be abnormal to take him out."

Raven mentally went over the past week, and cursed under her breath. _Dammit, he's right._ Between her concern for whatever his problem was, and the lingering anxiety that he might leave again, she _had_ spent a lot of time around the green idiot. Much to her chagrin.

"Just get him out of the Tower for a while, but be back by eight. Everyone should be here by then, and then we can get started."

"And what should we do for," She pulled her phone from a pocket dimension, and looked at the time. " _Three hours_? Seriously?"

"I don't know. Go see a movie, walk in the park, anything. Just get him out of here." Nightwing said as he turned to leave.

"It's not a date, Nightwing." She stated, more than a little indignant at the idea.

"Just do it." He called back.

Raven sat down to take a second and center herself. _Dammit. Well, maybe this is a good thing. I can try to figure out a way to open him up._ Moments later she was outside Garfield's door, hand poised to knock. What would they do? She wasn't going to take him to a movie, that was for sure. And what would they do in the park, play catch? So that also was not an option. _Thanks for nothing, Nightwing._ She stood like that for a while, thinking. Maybe it would be all right just to bring him to one of her cafés. Just sit down and talk for a while over some good coffee. The more she thought about it, the more she liked it. They could start out with just normal conversation, and as his guard lessened she could begin to pry at whatever was bothering him. Viewing it like that, it wasn't that nerve-racking. What did she have to be nervous about anyway, it was _Garfield_ for Azar's sake. Raven brought her hand down to knock against his door just as it opened, and ended up hitting Garfield in between the eyes.

"Ow? What was that for?" He asked as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

 _Well, this is off to a great start._ "Sorry. I was trying to knock."

They stood for a moment, an awkward silence growing.

"So, did you want me to close the door so you could try again, or what?" He scratched the back of his head.

"Uh, no. We need to go out."

Garfield's eyebrows shot up. "Um…"

" _Not_ a date." She said firmly. "Just to talk. "

Impossibly, his eyebrows went further up. "I swear to God, Raven, whatever happened, it wasn't me." He said as he began slowly walking backwards.

Raven was insulted. "Don't be immature Garfield, I just want to talk." She began walking after him.

"No offense Raven, but it doesn't feel like that." He replied without stopping. "It feels more end-of-my-life than it does friends-having-a-chat."

"Now you're just being rude." She placed a hand on her hip, still advancing.

Garfield bumped up against a chair and fell over. His eyes widened as he looked up at her standing over him. "Oh dear God!"

"Don't be so dramatic, you baby." Raven said as she enveloped them both in her dark aura.

A few minutes later they were sitting comfortably in a booth at one of Raven's favorite cafés. The afternoon sun lit up the windows at the front of the eatery, and people could be heard making conversation or ordering their drinks. Raven sat across from Garfield nibbling on a pastry, and trying not to make too much eye contact. Now that she was here she _was_ nervous, and she had no idea why. She brushed a lock of her hair behind one ear, and took a sip of her tea. Garfield had, of course, ordered the drink with the most sugar, and sat with both hands around his paper cup. One of his legs wouldn't stop jittering, and his eyes didn't seem to rest in one spot for long. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was more nervous than she was.

"Something wrong?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"It's nothing. Just haven't been around this many people in a while. Animal instincts are going a little cuckoo." He pointed at his head and twirled his finger with a rueful smile. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I guess that, for starters. How have you been adjusting, being back and everything? I assume you were pretty much living in isolation."

Garfield let out a single dry laugh. "Pretty much. Being back is… It's alright. I like being around everyone again, that's for sure. Situations like this though," He gestured to the surrounding people with his drink. "They're pretty jarring. I think that I'll have to do a couple dry runs before I get back to _serious_ hero work."

"I'm sure Nightwing will insist on it." Raven said dryly, earning a small smirk from him. "What else?"

"There's not much. Just enjoying modern conveniences mostly. Music, Internet, food, showers _,_ " Raven raised a disbelieving eyebrow at that. "You know, that sort of thing. I'm also trying to catch up on everything that happened while I was away. I missed _a lot._ Did you know that there's a new Gamestation?"

"Must have slipped me by, I'm afraid." She deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, add to that all the TV and movies I missed, and you're faced with a pretty daunting situation."

"Yes, I'm sure glad I'm not in your shoes. I don't think I could bear the weight of such an enormous task." Raven said sarcastically.

"Oh sure, make fun. It may sound easy, but it takes _guts_ to sit in front of that TV and invest your time. I doubt a novice like you could do it."

"I'm sure I'm supposed to say something like 'want to bet?' right now, but I'm not going to waste my weekend trying to prove you wrong."

Garfield snapped his fingers emphatically. "Darn, thought I had you there."

Raven rolled her eyes, then leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. "So, I'm really curious about your time away. What did you do while you were gone? You dodged the question when you first got here, but now I want to know."

He lifted his cup to his mouth, and drank slowly. With a sigh, he placed it down on the table again. "What's there to know? I was just kind of drifting from place to place. Nothing special."

She just fixed him with a glare, and drummed her fingers on the table.

"Fine." He said. "But prepare to be spectacularly bored."

Then they sat for some time together as he regaled her with the stories of his travels. He started out with all the countries that she knew he'd been to. How he had avoided them in England and Europe, and his journey through Africa and India. He had actually seen them in Indonesia after he'd been staying there for some time, and he told her of the elaborate plan he employed to escape from the country unseen. Then he told her of all the places he'd been that she didn't know of. His adventures through Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, and Burma. Some of the stories were normal, boring tales, but others were spectacular adventures worthy of the Justice League.

Raven was thoroughly impressed. More than that, she felt… happy. More relaxed, and comfortable than she had in ages, or really ever. While talking with Garfield she found herself smiling, and even laughing at the ridiculous antics he told her of. The way he spoke, and gesticulated was vastly entertaining, and she found no small pleasure in watching his face light up when he related a particularly funny or heroic part. She always remembered being annoyed with him, because he was loud and obnoxious, and it was only until right before he left that she had found some enjoyment in spending time with him. Now he was completely different. He was still silly, and definitely eccentric in his speech and manner, but he was somehow calmer, more tame. In some ways he was very mature. She found his company delightful, which for Raven was an entirely new experience.

"And that was the second time Eddie saved my life." Garfield said, finishing his latest story.

Raven shook with barely suppressed mirth. "Is there any situation that you _can't_ make a complete ass out of yourself?" She managed to gasp.

"Not if I can help it." He replied with a grin. "But we did end up saving the village, so really, I'm a hero."

"No doubt. I'm more surprised you found someone named Eddie in such a remote location." She replied, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Oh, his name wasn't really Eddie. I just called him that because I couldn't pronounce his long and overly complicated name. It pissed him off to no end." He grinned even wider.

"You would. So then what?"

"After that I picked up my things, said my goodbyes, and made my way across the border into Nepal. I spent the next two or so years finding a place to settle down that was out of the way, and living off nature. More or less. Then you found me, and you know the rest." Garfield sat back in his seat with a satisfied smile.

"Well that's quite an epic tale you lived, Garfield. It's no wonder you're basically a legend in that part of the world." She returned with a genuine smile.

Garfield just sat there and gazed at her for a long moment.

"What?" She asked, worried she might've said something wrong.

"Nothing. Just that you're beau–" He cut off abruptly, his eyes shifting suddenly to the front of the café.

Raven turned to follow his gaze, and felt her good mood curdle.

"Dammit. I forgot all about that." Garfield grumbled. "Don't worry, I'll take care of them."

At the entrance a large crowd had gathered, the vast majority looking in through the windows. They were obviously there because of the two superheroes casually chatting and eating. No doubt the media would show up soon, and Raven had no intention of sticking around for that. They frequently made her out to be some sort of hellspawn that was barely under control. And her friends wondered why she hated people. Raven was about to turn back and say something when, just then a reporter burst through the crowd, quickly followed by a cameraman. The reporter was a tall, thin woman with with fine features, and auburn hair, wearing a white blouse and short blue skirt. She turned to the cameraman, and started speaking.

"This is Karen Cardinal, and you can see, the hero known as Beast Boy is back in Jump City." The woman turned around to find Garfield was already standing, and approaching with a smile. "Beast Boy, everyone wants to know, is it true that you will be rejoining the Titans to watch over our city?"

"Rumors of my return to the Titans are largely overstated, but in this case, they're true." He said, taking the microphone from her hand, and smiling into the camera. "And it's not Beast Boy anymore, it's Wildling."

* * *

Well shit. It's been, like, a month since I updated this story. But before you set my house on fire, hear me out. Everyone seems to like my other story, If I Wasn't Broken, better, so I refocused my attention on that. AND, I really want this one to be good, so I'm spending a lot more time writing, and editing it. I'm hoping the longer chapters will keep you satisfied. If it doesn't, well, tough. That's pretty much it. Read, and let me know what you think. I'm thinking I'm going to start adding some adventure, just to kick up the pace. If you haven't read the other story I mentioned, do so, it comes highly recommended, and check out the other one I recently started, Codename Titan.


	5. Carried away

Garfield sat at the table, chatting cheerfully with several reporters that had shown up. The smile on his face masked the deep annoyance he felt at their presence. Things had been going so well with Raven. He couldn't recall a time where she had been more expressive. It absolutely lit up his world. She had actually laughed, _laughed_ , at his stories, and The Beast had been blessedly quiet for once. He'd been on cloud nine until these damn reporters showed up. Raven immediately closed up again, her expression becoming stoic and cold. She'd wanted to leave of course, he could tell. Garfield knew how she loathed the media, but after seeing him exposed like this he also knew they wouldn't let up, and would most likely follow them back to The Tower. So he had charged headlong into the enemy line, as it were, to nip the problem in the bud.

Now Raven sat alone in the booth, drinking her tea, while Garfield dealt with these parasites. And they were parasites, pestering him with frivolous questions that held no meaning, asking about every little unimportant detail, looking to suck up any information at all. Who designed your uniform? Cut your hair? What brand of toothpaste do you use? It was enough to set his teeth on edge. But he supposed that was the price he paid for sitting out in the open, idly chitchatting. One moment in her company, and he'd dropped all his defenses. Amateur. So he sat there, making jokes, answering questions, and generally making sure they stayed the hell away from Raven.

"So what made you decide on Wildling?" One reporter asked.

"Well, originally it was going to be Changeling, but that didn't quite have the vibe that I was going for." Garfield replied, leaning back and hooking one arm over the back of his chair.

"Why's that?"

"I came up with Changeling a little over five years ago, as a sort of way to rebrand myself. Being called a _boy_ in your late teens isn't exactly great for your self-esteem. Or image." Garfield grinned. "But then, while I was on my, ah, walkabout, I spent a lot of time in nature. You know, camping, hiking, eating bugs, that sort of thing. I guess it changed my perspective on a lot of things, and in turn changed what I thought my new moniker should be. I mean honestly, I think it just sounds cooler. Edgier."

"Well, whatever you choose to go by, I'm sure Jump City is glad to have you back."

"Thanks, it's good to be back."

"So, what are you doing here with Raven?" The reporter known as Karen Cardinal was sitting a little too close to him for comfort. Garfield knew that question was coming, it was a fairly obvious thing to ask when two high profile celebrities were found sitting alone together. But he hadn't expected them to plow right into it. Apparently subtlety was not Ms. Cardinal's thing.

"Just chatting. Haven't seen each other in a while, so there's a lot to catch up on." Garfield replied smoothly.

Karen leaned in a little closer. " _Just_ chatting? Are you _sure_ there's nothing you'd like to tell the people of Jump City?"

Garfield fixed a knowing smile on his face. "Oh, I see. No, Raven and I are _not_ dating. We're just good friends. The eligible women of Jump can rest assured, their favorite green Titan is still on the market." He announced with a grin, winking into the camera.

"We're all _very_ glad to hear that." She responded flirtatiously, and placed a hand briefly on his knee under the table.

 _Yikes._

 _ **I suppose you missed her obvious interest as well? That open invitation?**_

 _No, that came across loud and clear._

 _ **So then what's the problem?**_

 _The problems, plural, are that I don't trust you because I don't know what you're capable of, I don't trust her because she's with the media, and that Raven is sitting not six feet from me._

 _ **That last one is a moot point since you refuse to do anything about it.**_

"Wildling?"

Garfield blinked, realizing he'd been asked a question. "Sorry, what was the question?"

"I was asking since we're on the subject, what do you look for in a woman?"

Resisting the urge to look at Raven, he leaned forward. "Like, what's my type?"

"That's right." Karen smiled expectantly.

He tented his fingers in front of his face. "That's a pretty tough question, considering I've never actually been in a proper relationship. Also considering the last two girls I took interest in didn't exactly work out."

"Oh? Really?"

"Yeah. You guys remember Terra? The Titans ended up taking her in as a member, right? But it turned out she was working for Slade the whole time, and they took over the city and everything. We got along really well before she betrayed everyone, and I was completely infatuated with her. The whole thing left me kind of brokenhearted. She did redeem herself in the end though, by stopping a volcano from melting the whole city. Got turned to stone for it."

There was a heavy silence as Garfield quietly relived those moments. Then he smiled brightly and continued.

"Then the other girl was in Tokyo. She was just some schoolgirl, or so I thought. Turned out she was working for the bad guys as well, and on top of that wasn't even human! She was some kind of cat-girl ink-lady that had been specifically created to kill me! Just my luck, right?" Garfield grinned ruefully, and rubbed the back of his head. "So to answer your question, I guess the very first thing I look for in a woman is honesty. She has to be completely honest."

"What else?" Karen asked.

"Well, being compassionate, and having strong moral fiber have always been huge turn-ons for me." He said with a cheeky grin. "All in all I'm just looking for a decent human being. Though I guess that won't cut it for an answer, huh?"

Karen smiled. "You know your fans won't be satisfied with such a _politically correct_ reply. Answer honestly, what do you find most attractive about a woman?"

"The neck." Garfield's response was automatic. He almost accidentally said _her_ neck, but caught himself at the last second. "It sounds a little weird, I know, but I'm a highly animalistic person. To animals the neck, particularly the throat, is an area that holds a lot of power. It can mean a lot of things to expose your neck, like submission. Submission to death, a stronger foe, or the leader of the pack. And mothers often carry their young around by the scruff of their necks, so it can be seen as a symbol for possession, nurturing, or affection. So yeah, if I had to pick one specific thing, it'd have to be the neck."

"Makes you sound almost like some sort of hunter."

Garfield laughed. "I wouldn't say that. If I was, then I'm not a very good one."

Garfield answered a few more questions about where he went during his travels, his daily life in the Tower, and what his work out routine was like. It was incredibly boring. Garfield glanced out the window and saw that it was already dark out. How long had he been sitting here, answering these mindnumbing questions? Too long. He was about to cut the interview short when he felt a hand tap his shoulder from behind.

"We need to go. Everyone's probably waiting for us to have dinner." Raven said, talking to him but also addressing the reporters.

Garfield tried not to act too relieved. "Well, I guess that's it guys." He started getting up from the table.

Karen let out a little sound of disappointment, pouting. "But I still have more questions."

"Oh, I'm sure you do." Raven muttered under her breath.

"I'll be able to answer your questions another time, but it really is getting late." Garfield said, then turned to Raven. "Ready when you are."

Dark magic rose up from the shadows at Raven's feet, circling them both. Garfield turned to the reporters and waved goodbye, giving them one more wink before being completely enveloped.

* * *

"Thanks for bailing me out of there, Raven." Garfield said.

"Yeah, I'm sure you were having a terrible time. Especially with that Karen fawning all over you." Raven teased in her monotone.

"Hey give me some credit, even I have standards." Garfield visibly shivered. "Jesus, it's like the girl never heard of personal space."

"You could do worse. She's…" Raven paused, trying not to be overly caustic. "Pretty. At least."

"I could also do a lot better." Garfield glanced at her. "Women like her are only seeking the thrill of sleeping with a celebrity, plus she's already with the media. Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather not end up in some tabloid scandal."

Raven hummed her agreement.

They were back in the tower, walking down the hall towards the common room. Back in the café Raven had been waiting for the interview to end, and looked at her phone to see it was almost time for the party. She didn't waste any time getting him away from those reporters, now that she had an excuse. Today they had been especially annoying, particularly Karen Cardinal. Raven couldn't quite put her finger on why, but she _really_ hated that one.

A thought occurred to Raven. "So am I supposed to call you Wildling now?"

"Well, it is my codename, so…"

"Pity. I'd almost gotten used to calling you by your real name."

"You can if you want. It's no big deal."

"Okay." Raven said, not really sure how to feel about the situation. "I will."

They walked in silence for a few seconds before Garfield spoke up again.

"Um, I'm sorry that those guys got in the way." He and and said tentatively.

"In the way of what?"

"Of our conversation. I was really enjoying myself, and it looked like you were to. I'm sorry those guys ruined it."

Raven stopped before the doors to the common room. Slowly, she lifted her hands up to pull down her hood to look him in the eye. "It's not your fault. Don't worry about it."

"Yeah, but still. It sucks."

 _Now or never._ "Well if you really want to make it up to me, then–"

 _"SURPRISE!"_ The doors to the common room suddenly slid open, and they were assaulted by the cheers of all the Titans, West, East, North, South, and Central. A banner hung from the ceiling that read "Welcome Home!" in huge letters, there was confetti and streamers, and someone had been very liberal handing out party boppers.

"Oh man! You guys!" Garfield stepped into the room, smiling brightly. "I had no idea!"

"Well, _duh_ , that's the point of a surprise party!" Cyborg replied, giving Garfield a hug.

"This is awesome! You guys are the best!" Garfield proclaimed before running over to give StarFire and Nightwing hugs.

Nightwing put a hand on Garfield's shoulder. "We all really missed you. Consider this a small way of showing that."

StarFire suddenly grabbed his arm and began dragging him over to the other Titans. "Come, Friend Garfield, you must meet all the new friends we have made in your absence!"

Raven watched all this from the doorway, a little annoyed at the bad timing. Pulling her hood back up and stepping inside the room, she made her way over to a chair along the wall and sat down. That had been an almost perfect opportunity for her to force an explanation out of him for his weird behavior, and she had missed it. Across the room Garfield was being introduced to the Titans that had been inducted after he left. Music started playing as Cyborg got behind the DJ booth. Raven sighed, giving up on talking to Garfield any time tonight. Now he'd be too distracted for a serious conversation like that, and she didn't want to ruin the party for him. Contenting herself to let the party unfold around her, Raven crossed one leg over the other and settled into her seat.

* * *

Four hours later Raven had just about had enough. It wasn't enough that she had to deal with the loud music, excessive of amount of people, and alcohol, but she also had to watch Garfield make a complete idiot out of himself. After being introduced to all of the new Titans, he had gone and flirted with all of the Titan women who were not currently in relationships. Literally all of them, she counted. Raven couldn't care less if he flirted with anyone, but _everybody_? Now he was just being an ass. She sat there glaring at him over rim of her glass, not particularly listening to Aqualad who was talking next to her. Garfield was sitting on the couch with Wonder Girl, Zatanna, and Argent. He must've said something hilarious, because now they were all laughing. Raven seethed inwardly.

First that ditzy reporter, now three women at the same time. All in the same day no less. Pretty soon he'd be bringing home one girl a night. Just thinking about it made Raven want to grind her teeth. There is a limit to how callous one could be. Didn't he care about anyone in the tower, or the image of the Titans? They couldn't afford to be seen doing things like that, and Raven couldn't imagine Garfield being subtle enough to pull it off in secret.

Speaking of secrets, he never revealed to her the reason for his departure. In fact, aside from today, it had seemed like he had been avoiding her. That was the worst part of it, the fact that after everything she'd been through, things were not back to normal. He was still hiding something from everyone, from her. Raven had thought that when she found him that she'd at least have their quiet conversations back, but no, now he was tiptoeing around her. Before he left she'd come to consider him the closest person to her, and thought that he felt similarly. Apparently not, considering how thoroughly he had walled her off.

Suddenly the glass in her hand exploded, dropping champagne and bits of glass into her lap. Raven sighed angrily, brushing away the mess and standing up to get something to clean up. She ignored the offer of help from Aqualad, and Speedy, who she hadn't noticed was also sitting nearby. Walking over to the kitchen, she grabbed a handful of paper towels and started cleaning herself up. When she was nearly done, a hand appeared with another glass of champagne. A green hand. Raven straightened up from wiping herself off and took it.

"You all right?" Garfield asked, taking a sip from his own cup. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Oh, I'm perfect." Raven answered, laying on the sarcasm. "How could I _not_ enjoy myself?"

Another song started blaring over the speakers, peppy synth notes setting the tone.

"Well, you've stayed long enough." Garfield said. "You could go to bed if you want."

"Afraid I'll cramp your style? Am I bringing down the mood of the party?"

 _Since my heart is golden,_

 _I've got sense to hold in,_

 _tempted just to make an ugly scene._

 _No I'm not as proper,_

 _my money's in copper,_

 _ripped down from the brownstones to the streets._

His eyebrows shot up. "What? No! I'm just saying if you're uncomfortable, it wouldn't be rude for you to go."

"I'll stay." She said firmly, taking a large sip from her glass. "Someone's got to make sure you don't embarrass your self, or the team."

"Hey, I've been fairly tame this entire evening."

"If you consider tame being a drunken ass, then yes, you've been very tame."

 _Listen,_

 _I'm your friend don't quote me,_

 _but not a friend worth noting,_

 _yes, please don't ever note me as your friend._

 _Who says we have cold hearts?_

 _Acting out our old parts,_

 _let's perform our favorite little scene,_

 _whoa oh oh oh_

"Uh, have _you_ been drinking too much? I've only had this one drink for the past hour." Garfield gave her a concerned look.

"So you've been crudely hitting on all the women while sober? That doesn't make me feel better."

"Hitting on?" He scoffed. "It's called being friendly, Rae. Not that you'd know."

 _I get carried away,_

 _carried away from you,_

 _but I'm hoping and I'm praying,_

 _'cause I'm sorry, sorry 'bout that,_

 _sorry about things that I said,_

 _always let it get to my head._

"Raven." She corrected. "Maybe you should get back to your 'friends', and try to come up with stupid nicknames for them instead."

"What is your deal? I'm just trying to see if you're all right." He was starting to look hurt now, but Raven didn't care.

"That's your first mistake. I don't need anyone to take care of me."

 _Oh European,_

 _once again with feeling,_

 _higher education making sense._

 _Justify your thesis,_

 _certain that you need this,_

 _tell me what your point is in defense._

"Okay, wait a minute, back up." Garfield said, making a placating motion with his hands. "What happened? I thought we were getting along."

Raven knew she should feel bad for snapping at him, but she felt so mad at him for some reason. She couldn't stop herself.

" _We_ don't get along. You're a nuisance, and I tolerate you. The end."

 _Listen,_

 _I don't think I know you,_

 _and I don't think I want to,_

 _but I think I can fake it if you can._

 _Let's agree there's no need,_

 _no more talk of money,_

 _let's just keep pretending to be friends._

 _Oh oh oh oh_

Garfield crossed his arms. "I remember. Good times. But I was hoping that we could be a little more civil this time around."

"If you weren't such a gargantuan imbecile then maybe we could be." She sneered.

 _I get carried away,_

 _carried away from you,_

 _but I'm hoping and I'm praying,_

 _'cause I'm sorry, sorry 'bout that,_

 _sorry about things that I said,_

 _always let it get to my head._

 _I get carried away,_

 _carried away from you,_

 _but I'm hoping and I'm praying,_

 _'cause I'm sorry, sorry 'bout that,_

 _sorry about things that I said,_

 _always let it get to my head._

"Look, if I've done something to upset you I'm sorry." He said earnestly.

"I don't need you to be sorry, I need you to be gone."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"You first."

 _Wake up in the morning,_

 _wake up in the evening,_

 _wake up when you want to,_

 _'cause no one's really watching,_

Garfield's eyes widened. "What?"

"Friendship is a two-way street, _Garfield_." Raven tossed back the rest of her drink.

 _Well she'll have something to say about it,_

 _'cause we all have problems,_

 _we're all having problems,_

 _and we all get carried away,_

"Seriously, how many of those have you had?" Now he had something akin to worry in his eyes.

"Don't avoid the question!"

"You haven't _asked_ one!"

 _I get carried away,_

 _carried away from you,_

 _but I'm hoping and I'm praying,_

 _cause I'm sorry, sorry about that,_

 _sorry about things that I said,_

 _always let it get to my head._

Raven slammed her hand down on the counter next to her. "When you first got back I asked why you left! You've been avoiding the question since then!"

While she had much greater control over her powers, and could afford to express herself more openly, Raven still had to watch out in case her emotions got the better of her. Judging by the floating objects nearby, she wasn't doing such a great job of it.

Garfield suddenly broke eye contact. "It's my own problem to deal with."

"Then I guess our conversation's done." Raven made a shooing gesture with one hand and started walking away.

Raven felt Garfield grab her wrist and pull her back towards him. She stumbled and fell against him. In her fuzzy, intoxicated mind, she silently reveled in the firmness of his chest and stomach as she pressed up against them. She looked up and saw that same inscrutable expression he wore the day he got back, when they had argued in his room. For some reason, it excited Raven. _This is dangerous._

"Raven, I–"

 _I get carried away,_

 _carried away from you,_

 _but I'm hoping and I'm praying,_

 _cause I'm sorry, sorry about that,_

 _sorry about things that I said,_

 _always let it g–_

* * *

The music suddenly cut off as Garfield was flung bodily through the air and crashed into the speaker system. The ensuing silence was punctuated by the doors to the hallway slamming shut as Raven made her escape. Cyborg was there immediately, helping Garfield up out of the wreckage.

"What did you do, B?" He asked when Garfield had settled down on the couch, no worse for wear.

"I don't know, I just wanted to make sure she was all right in this party." He replied, rubbing a sore spot on his head. "Suddenly we were arguing, and next thing I know, I'm flying through the air."

"You didn't do anything to piss her off?"

"I swear, I was the perfect gentleman."

Nightwing stepped forward, one hand rubbing his chin. "Raven was acting different when you left, so maybe she's just trying to readjust."

"Trying to readjust my spine maybe." Garfield half joked.

"Just let her calm down, talk to her in the morning." Nightwing said with a laugh.

"Are you all right, friend?" StarFire asked, concern written on her face.

"Nothing a little ice can't fix." Garfield grinned.

Cyborg finished putting the speaker system back together. "Then let's get this party back on track!" He yelled. Everyone cheered, and the music started up again.

Garfield stayed on the couch, preferring to talk instead of dancing. He made the excuse that he was sore from being tossed around, but really he couldn't stop thinking of how Raven looked. Like she was hurt, and he was one who hurt her.

* * *

God. Writing this chapter was like pulling teeth. I just couldn't figure out how the interview, or argument should go. In the end I think it feels kind of forced and clunky. But I hope you enjoyed anyway. The song is Carried Away by Passion Pit, if you didn't know that. I think it's a good song to describe Raven and Garfield's relationship. The first verse is about how Raven always tries to act proper but can't really control herself all the time around him, so she ends up lashing out. Then how she feels bad for treating him poorly, and subconsciously really loves him and doesn't want to be considered just a friend. Then how she doesn't really know how to interact with him, so she just starts an argument. Then the chorus is her apologizing for being so mean and hoping that he'll forgive her. The second verse is Garfield complaining about how she always tries to act superior and use her intelligence to win the arguments they have. And how he doesn't understand what brought about this sudden attack from her, but is willing to pretend it didn't happen if she backs off and acts nice. The breakdown at the end is Garfield empathizing and sympathizing with Raven's loneliness and trying to comfort her by saying she is not alone in her problems. Or at least that's how I interpret the song, for the sake of this story. Anyway, read and review, it's always appreciated and it helps for motivation. Question, should I be answering back questions and statements in the reviews? I generally don't, but am I being rude by not doing so? Let me know.

– Mocha


	6. Open mouth, insert foot

INCOMING MAILBAG! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Golem XIV – thanks, I won't let the story die, I've just been busy with everything else.

shugokage – thank you sir!

Guest – thanks, going forward I will be concentrating more on this story, so stay tuned!

Guest – I will! Glad to hear that!

Foamsatmouth – isn't it though? Yes, she's very tsundere. "Just because I don't want you talking to other girls doesn't mean that I like you, b-baka!" lol

Fawhead – well, this isn't exactly _soon_ … Please don't kill me?

TheForceIsStrongwithThisOne – yeah, she can be. I think because it's a fairly new emotion to her.

.

.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Garfield cursed under his breath as he dropped, and flattened himself against the ground, narrowly avoiding a flaming sedan as it sailed overhead through the night. Instantly he popped back up. "It's a red light, jackass! Cars are supposed to stop!" He hollered, pointing at the traffic light over his head.

Cinderblock roared and hoisted another car, this time a minivan.

"Oh shit."

The minivan hurtled towards him, and, too slowly, Garfield rolled to the side to avoid it. He wouldn't be able to get out of the way in time. Just before impact, Garfield felt a familiar chill surround him, and jerk him to one side. The vehicle passed by him harmlessly, and tumbled down the street. The dark aura deposited him on the ground, and he turned to say thank you, but Raven was already heading towards the fight. Garfield frowned unhappily. She hadn't deigned to speak to him in the two days since the party, and Garfield was feeling fairly conflicted about it. On one hand, he appreciated the break. Constantly having to rein himself in around her was beyond exhausting, and he needed his rest. On the other hand, he was beginning to feel… not good… inside. An exactly _unpleasant_ feeling.

 _But what the hell did I_ do _?_

 _ **You don't think she was jealous, do you? You were paying an awful lot of attention to other girls after spending all afternoon with her.**_

 _Fat chance. More likely, I was too loud or something, and her anger was compounded by the fact that she was also drunk._

 _ **Drunk enough to let her guard down, and show her true feelings, perhaps?**_

 _You're delusional._

 _ **Says the man conversing with the voice in his head.**_

 _Blow me._

"Wildling! Pay attention!"

"Huh?" Garfield was pulled out of his thoughts to see Cinderblock charging towards him as he fled from the others. "Oh, Jesus Christ!"

Thinking quickly, he turned into a T-Rex, and spun, using his massive tail to clothesline the cement monster. The force of the blow sent Cinderblock toppling backwards, crashing into the ground, and cracking the asphalt. Nightwing was upon him quickly, freezing their opponent's limbs in place with a few well-placed discs. Garfield slammed one massive clawed foot down on Cinderblock, pinning him even further into place. The villain soundly thrashed, it wasn't long after that the authorities showed up, and had the baddie safely tucked away in a specially made van. Nightwing strolled up to Garfield after debriefing the police, a look of mild concern and curiosity on his face.

"You all right today, Wildling?" The masked hero asked. "You seemed a little out of it back there."

Garfield wasn't surprised that his leader had observed his distracted state. "Yeah, it's just the voices in my head." He explained glibly. "We were discussing what kind of snack we should have when we get back."

 _ **That's**_ **not** _ **what we were talking about.**_

"No, we're getting strawberries!" Garfield told himself rather harshly.

Nightwing chuckled, but then leaned in to speak more quietly. "It's this thing with Raven, right? The argument you had the other day."

Reluctantly, Garfield nodded. "A little. I think I just have to apologize is all."

"So, why don't you?"

"Well, I'd like to know what I'd be apologizing for."

Leaning back out, Nightwing regarded him thoughtfully. "I don't know if this helps, but whenever Starfire is upset with me, I start out by apologizing first, and then seeing what I can do to make it up to her. It doesn't always matter what you did wrong."

"If you haven't noticed, Raven and I don't exactly _get along_ like you and Star do." Garfield waggled his eyebrows, and grinned. "We don't get into arguments for the benefit of makeup sex."

The masked hero scowled, and crossed his arms. "That's not _why_ we get into arguments. Look, far be it from me to get in the middle of whatever is going on between you two, but as leader I'm telling you to resolve it quickly. If we face off against a new, or more powerful villain you might not be so lucky."

Garfield sighed. "I know. I'm on it."

Nightwing nodded curtly, then went to go finish organizing the cleanup. Garfield turned and started walking towards the T-car while discreetly observing Raven. She was helping by moving some of the larger rubble and debris from the streets to a better area, and currently had her back towards him. Without her old cloak on, he could see her curvaceous figure. Of course, he'd always known that she was off the scale, _crazy_ hot, but now, with those pants that hugged her legs, legs that went up, up, up to a tight a–

 _Gah! Bad Gar, bad! That's enough of that!_ He quickly averted his gaze.

 _ **I don't know. I think I could stand for a little more.**_

His hand came up to meet his brow with an audible _slap_ as he pulled open the car door, and got in the backseat.

 _Why the hell did I come back here?_

 _ **Because Raven's here.**_

 _No, that's why I_ left _._

 _ **Then because we were unraveling out there.**_

 _I'm unraveling_ here. _More so._

 _ **Maybe. But with our pack, maybe not. Being out there would've undone us, reduced us to savagery.**_

 _Like you wouldn't love that._

 _ **We are as much human as we are animal. To deny either would be very bad.**_

The door opened, and Starfire said something he didn't quite hear. He got the idea though, and scooted over to sit in the center so that she could get in.

 _So, I am the duality of man, personified and then intensified by a thousand. That'd be almost poignant if you weren't such a goddamn headache._

 _ **I have my moments. So, how are we going to get back into Raven's good graces?**_

 _No clue._

 _ **We have to figure something out.**_

 _I'm working on it._

The door on the other side opened, and someone slid in next to him. Garfield stiffened, and retreated slightly to give Raven enough space on her side. He managed to look at her, and found her regarding him with a dispassionate expression. He threw her a quick, tense smile, and then averted his gaze to the front of the car. She was definitely still super pissed at him.

 _Christ, I hope she doesn't kill me before get the chance to apologize._

 _ **Fingers crossed.**_

.

.

Raven watched him give her a forced smile, and then look pointedly away from her. He was still upset from the party the other night, and rightfully so. She had blown up on him for no reason, and all he'd been trying to do was make sure she was comfortable. Now Raven was in the unfamiliar position of having to apologize, and she was having trouble coming to grips with it. It was a disconcerting realization that she didn't quite know how to apologize for something. Well, she knew _how_ , she just couldn't bring up a memory of ever having to do so before, and thus found the prospect rather intimidating. Which was ridiculous because this was _Garfield_ she was talking about. When was the last time he'd ever held a grudge, or not forgiven someone for something?

 _But it's been two days, and he hasn't spoken a word to me…_

The nagging voice in the back of her head had a point. Garfield had never done something like this before. If this had been when they were younger, Garfield would not have left her alone for more than a couple hours at most. But they had, all of them, grown up, and she couldn't truly say that she knew him after five years' separation. The idea that Garfield could come to hate her over something stupid like a random argument curdled her already sour mood. Thoughts began crossing her mind, anxiety rising within her. Would he ask to transfer to another team? Would he denounce their friendship, or run away again? Raven closed her eyes and repeated her mantra several times silently, calming herself and gaining control again. No, he wouldn't do those things, or run again, Raven was sure of that. He had to know that she would just come after him again, and when she found him, there would be, quite literally, hell to pay.

Cyborg, and then Nightwing finally got into the car and the team pulled away from the crime scene towards the Tower. The other thing that had her distressed was the glaringly obvious fault on her part. In the clear light of day, and sobriety, there had been absolutely no reason for her to go off on him like she had. Sure, he had been talking to a lot of people that night, and there had been drinking, but Garfield had conducted himself as a model hero. It wasn't his fault that women at the party had practically flocked to him. He'd even turned down a few invitations to dance, so it wasn't like he was just going with any of them to get laid, like Raven had practically accused him of. She really had no idea what had made her snap. Probably just the fact that she hadn't meditated that day, and spent a large part of her evening surrounded by people, first with the paparazzi, and then at the party. Yeah, that was it. There was no weird underlying anger at the women of the party at all. _At all_.

.

.

The main problem was how to approach Raven in a way that wouldn't get him sent to another dimension. The actual vehicle for the apology probably didn't matter too much. His ideas ranged from finding a mystical way to anchor himself to this reality, to shamelessly begging her not to hurt him. As he stared ahead, different scenarios played out in his mind. That last one was not a particularly manful way to go about it, but if worse came to worse… Garfield shook his head. Scratch that, not exactly the best face to show his mate. What if he tied himself to the ground, would that work? Nah, most likely not. Raven could cut through rope, and chain like they weren't even there.

 _ **You just thought of her as our mate.**_

 _What?_

 _ **Just now, you thought of Raven as our mate.**_

 _No, I didn't._ He had. Shit.

 _ **You totally did.**_

 _I didn't! Fuck it, just shut up._

 _ **You know you can't lie to me, right? Literally impossible.**_

 _Shut. Up._

Back to the matter at hand, it was most likely better to keep it simple. No elaborate plans, or convoluted schemes. Just a good old "I'm sorry" and a contrite look would work. Probably. Hopefully. He should do something for her too. Just in case.

.

.

Her face totally neutral, Raven went from staring at the back of the seat in front of her to out of the window to her left. So, how does one apologize for being a total bitch? With some sort of gesture of kindness she supposed. Unfortunately, she was terrible at those. What do people even do to say sorry? Bake cookies? Well, beyond tea she was an absolute disaster in the kitchen, so that was out. Nothing else really came to mind. Video games? Raven had no idea about any of that, and she wasn't about to ask anybody to help. Movies? That might work, she had an idea of what his preference was, kind of. Wasn't there a new movie out? Professor Odd or some such thing? It seemed exactly like what he'd be into. And they had been talking about how he still had a lot to see at the café before the party, so it was a safe bet that he hadn't seen it yet.

As they finally pulled into their garage, Raven floated up through the roof of the car, and the ceiling, all the way up to her room, where she sat down at her desk and opened her laptop. She opened up a ticket website and looked at times during the coming weekend that would be appropriate. Deciding on tickets in the late afternoon, she printed them out of her personal printer that she bought herself. The vouchers safely on her bedside table, Raven got ready to sleep, and resolved to give them to Garfield tomorrow. Brushing her teeth, she wondered idly who he would go with. Probably Cyborg. Maybe one of those girls from the party. Raven spat into the sink. That would be fine, she didn't care.

.

.

Garfield awoke early the following morning, and yawned his way into the kitchen before anyone else. Being comprised of literally all animal life, his sleep cycle was a chaotic one, and forcing himself to go to sleep or wake up at a specific time usually left him a bit tired. However, he decided that the best way to apologize to Raven was to present her with a hot breakfast, and fresh cup of tea. Doing so was not an easy feat, as one had to wake up before the crack of dawn, and also know how to make tea in the way that she normally made it. Garfield spent some time the night before trying to remember exactly how she took her tea, and even watching a few ViewTube videos to make sure he didn't fuck it up. He did _not_ want to make her more pissed.

The heel of one hand rubbing the sleep from his eye, he filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stove, setting it to boil. Then he went about cutting fruit, and preparing waffle mix for her breakfast. Garfield didn't boast any sort of superior skill in the kitchen, but he did well enough after having to cook his own meals as a vegetarian. In any case, he was done with the meal before too much time had passed, and set it all up on a tray to take to her room. The waffles sat on the plate, covered in sliced strawberries, bananas, and blueberries, a little cup of syrup off to the side. Her tea steamed in her favorite mug with just a hint of honey, and he even had a glass of orange juice before her.

Taking the whole thing in his hands, he, _very_ carefully, began walking towards her room. He made it there with no incident, and stopped before door. This was, as they say, the moment of truth. Garfield shifted the tray so that he could support it with one hand, and lifted the other to knock on her door.

.

.

Raven opened her door only to narrowly avoid being trampled as Garfield first swung his arm, and then stumbled after it through her doorway. In a spectacular display of clumsiness and quick reflexes, she watched him as he tried to keep his feet, and also what he was carrying from falling to the floor. After what seemed like longer than necessary, he slid down to the ground in a kneeling position, and placed the tray on the floor. Strangely, it had her tea, and a plate of waffles on it. Garfield looked up at her with a triumphant grin.

"Almost lost it…" The words, and the grin fell away as Raven watched. He looked around frantically, obviously realizing where it was that he sat. "It was an accident!" He stammered, shooting up to his feet.

She didn't outwardly express it, but Raven found all this very amusing so early in the morning. This was good, exactly how Garfield should be acting. Seeing this immediately made her feel better.

"What exactly are you doing?" She asked, dryly monotonous.

"Well, you know, it's breakfast, and I'm sorry, an– I mean, it's apologizing for breakfast!" He said frantically, waving and gesticulating wildly with his arms. Raven would've laughed if she hadn't already caught on to his purpose here. He quickly facepalmed when he realized he was just spouting nonsense. " _With_ breakfast. _I'm_ apologizing _with_ breakfast."

"You shouldn't have." She replied.

"No! Well, I mean, it's the least I could do. You were so upset the night of the party, and then I came over and made it wors–"

Raven shook her head. "That's not what I meant. You didn't do anything wrong that night. I was the one at fault. I was agitated because I didn't get to meditate that day, but that's not an excuse to take it out on you by hurling you across the room."

Garfield looked at her, confused. "What about what you were saying? About me and the girls there?"

Raven practically winced at the reminder. "Like I said, I was agitated as well as frustrated. Plus, I had been drinking. I didn't know what I was saying, and I didn't mean any of it."

One of his hands came up to rub at the back of his head. "So then…"

"What I mean to say, Garfield, is that I'm the one that should be sorry. I _am_ sorry." Raven looked down, embarrassed, but glad that she was actually apologizing. "Do you think you could forgive me?"

He stood wide-eyed for several seconds before his hands started waving about again. "Oh, hey, it's no problem Rae! I mean, no harm no foul, I'm perfectly fine, and I was just worried that I had done something wrong! That's what usually happens right?"

As he continued talking excitedly, her eyes were suddenly drawn to the tickets waiting on her bedside table. Now was probably good time to give them to him. However, as she realized the opportunity before her, her mouth grew exceedingly dry. All of a sudden, she was really nervous about giving him two lousy tickets.

 _Don't be silly Raven, they're just tickets. Give them to him, they're part of your apology._

But she couldn't. She couldn't even open her mouth to get the words out. Raven watched as Garfield picked up the tray and placed it right on top of the tickets, but still didn't say anything. Why the hell was she panicking about this? Eventually he passed her on his way to the door, and stepped out into the hall. He turned around and smiled at her.

"Okay! Well, guess I'll see you later then. Sorry about going into your room." He said with a sheepish smile.

Raven merely shook her head to indicate that she wasn't angry, still finding it hard to speak.

"All right, well enjoy your breakfast while it's hot. Made with love and all that." He said as he began walking away, giving her a small wave.

The door closed with Raven still inside her room, and she leaned her head against it, mentally kicking herself. What the hell was _wrong_ with her? They were just stupid movie tickets, and she practically had a mental breakdown over handing them to him. Sighing, she went over and sat on her bed, pulling the tray into her lap so that she might begin eating.

 _Wait. Made with love?_

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Garfield slammed his head on his desk for the tenth time since he returned to his room.

 _Made with love? What the hell._

 _ **Smooth, that. Subtle.**_

 _Seriously, blow me._

.

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Well, this took entirely too long to get out. What's it been, like, six months since I've written anything in this story? That's my bad. Furthermore I forgot where I was going with this a little bit. I have an overall idea, but I'm sure I had a bunch of little ideas that have slipped my mind now. Whoops. Guess I've just been a little busy. With life, and writing other stories, and procrastinating. Seriously, I have like _no_ discipline. Hopefully this chapter was all right. I promise that I'll be prioritizing my three main stories over everything else now.


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